One of the more demoralizing aspects of the economic downturn is feeling like, even if you haven’t been laid off or had your salary slashed, you’re probably pretty expendable. So the impact negative criticism can have on your job performance — and your ego — is often magnified. Small slights carry more weight, and a poor performance review can seem insurmountable.

But it’s important to learn from criticism, even the negative kind. Granted, some things — like office gossip, for example — are detrimental no matter how you dice it. But, for the most part, there are ways to glean the positive out of the negative.  These tips work whether the person on your case is your boss, your co-worker, or even your teenager (yes, it’s true: Parenting takes people skills).

1.) Separate the personal from the professional. Remember: No matter how much you love what you do, or how long you have been doing it, you are not your job. Criticism of your performance is not necessarily a personal attack. Acknowledge your emotions — it’s OK to be angry, sad, hurt, incredulous, whatever — but put them aside when discussing the problem. 

2.) Consider the source. Do you have a bad boss? How about a catty co-worker? You may still need to do damage control, but negative criticism can be discredited more easily if it comes from a disreputable source.

3.) Look for the kernel of truth. Sometimes, the feedback is valid, but it’s delievered in a negative way. Take a moment to sift through what was said, and focus on the real issue at hand. Did you rely on spellcheck instead of giving that document a close read? Did you forget to check your math? If you did sloppy work, own up to it — at least to yourself — and don’t make the same mistake again. 

4.) Stay calm, respond rationally, get all the information you need. Flying off the handle, crying, or being extremely defensive won’t help you; discussing the situation calmly and rationally will. Don’t hesitate to ask for examples of the problem, or for suggestions as to how you should remedy the situation; if you disagree with the feedback, be ready to back up your argument with examples of your own. (Is the criticism coming from your kid? Try this: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I want to hear what you have to say, but I need you to be calm enough to discuss this with me. Please go to your room and come back down when you want to talk about it calmly.”)

5.) Learn from it, then let it go. Once you’ve addressed the core issue or fixed the problem(s), don’t dwell on it. Reliving the rejection or internalizing the perceived insult doesn’t inspire you to improve, and feeling resentful or defensive can just make the situation worse.

Have you been bogged down by criticism lately? How did you handle it?