The 36-Hour Day
with Lylah M. Alphonse
I'm a full-time editor, a part-time writer, and a mom and stepmom to five amazing kids, ages 1 to 14. For me it's not about finding balance, it's about the daily juggle-- my career, my commute, freelance work, homework, housework, married life, social life, and parenting-- and finding the time to get it all done.
To learn more about Lylah, check out her Work It, Mom! profile and read her blog at writeeditrepeat.blogspot.com.
We just got back from a road trip and, after several days in my uncle and aunt’s pristine, gorgeously decorated, child-free home, I have to admit that my own house feels like a pig’s sty.
There’s mud on the carpets. Something gritty under the kitchen table. Things scattered on countertops. Laundry piled on the floor of our bedroom. A downstairs bathroom counter full of bottles and brushes. And a toy-filled family room that is starting to cause problems.
My husband, who does not have my tendency to clutter, has been after me to get rid of many of the toys that fill what used to be our semi-tidy TV room, and I’ll be honest with you, I’ve resisted. “The littlest kids still play with that,” I tell him, putting the plastic farm house back on top of the toy box. “What good is a train table if you hide the trains in the basement?” I ask, shoving pieces of wooden tracks into a small bin. He doesn’t seem irritated by the big-kid toys in the room — the drum kit for “Rock Band” or the steering wheel and pedals he and our teens and tween use to play various games on the XBox — just by the stuff that keep our 4- and 2-year-olds amused.
And I wonder… is it really a clutter issue after all?
Since I don’t have a degree in psychology, let’s say it is. The most psychological I’ll get about it is admitting that I don’t see clutter if I think it’s temporary. Seriously: If it’s something that I figure won’t be used for very long, whether it’s a couple of days or a couple of years, I tend to look past it at the rest of the room. Dirt, I can see right away — the mud on the carpet is making me want to vacuum, even though it’s past midnight right now and I hate to vacuum. But the wooden blocks and train pieces and farm animals and stacks of colored paper? They don’t register.
But I’m all about keeping the peace. Which is why I’m turning to you, my working mom friends. How do you fit cleaning or decluttering into your work-life juggle? And what do you do about toys that your older kids have outgrown but your younger kids still enjoy?
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I have picked up the some of the FLYLADY.COM ideas, not all of them but between everything here and on there i’ve manged to get my DD (3) to pick up and also help unclutter her toy room/ my living rrom.
hopes it helps you and everyone else too.
Melinda
Melinda | July 3rd, 2009 at 11:39 am
We don’t have too many toys compared to other families, and my son (3) likes specific toys like small cars, trains. I allocated 3 Ikea white almost see-through bins with lids and keep them in the living room stacked. All small cars and planes go in one, train set goes in another. Most of the time I ask him to put away toys into the bin before he opens up another one. So clean up is simple just throw the toys back, there is no sorting involved.
Once I noticed that clean up was too difficult because of too many small cars, I took away some of them and I’ll take them out at some point when we go for a trip or when he is bored with the ones he has now.
Plus we have a dresser in the living room, 3 lower shelves are taken up by Andrei’s crafts, pencils, activity books etc. 2 upper shelves are small technology parts, dvds, bills etc. So most of the stuff that’d be laying around is hidden there.
Maria | July 3rd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
My kids probably have more toys than anyone in the county (too many aunties!). But I don’t let clutter get out of hand. I engage the kids in keeping things organized. I have a few basic rules that I patiently remind them of as they develop civilized habits. We don’t leave kid things all over the house, only in the “right places” - that would be their bedroom and parts of the family room. They can play wherever, as long as they pick up after themselves. Before they go to bed, I do a survey of the kid shrapnel and make sure they help if anything needs to be straightened. Thus, by the time they are in bed, most of the house feels like a grown-up’s domain, not a day-care center. Unlike some people I know, I do “see” clutter, so my mood is much improved if things are neat. Also, it drives me nuts if there is a piece missing from something. If we straighten up every day, the chances of losing track of little pieces is a lot smaller.
We have attractive wicker bins to keep smaller toys in in the family room, and these bins fit nicely under some of the furniture. Each girl has trundle drawer under her bed, and we have a toy/book stacker in their closet. Out of sight, out of mind, for the most part. At times when I don’t have the energy to track the movements of their thousands of toys and books, I keep them out of the bedroom so they are limited to the toys/books in the family room. I try to keep them playing outside as much as the weather allows. I also keep some “special toys” with lots of pieces (puzzles, crayons, etc.) in my room or in a cupboard that they aren’t allowed to open. They can have a few at a time, and have to finish and put them up before they move on to another activity. Soon I plan to get a cabinet with lots of shelves where they can keep these types of things organized on their own, but they are not ready for that yet (they are 2.5).
I think a lot of people don’t get their young kids involved in the cleaning because they feel it’s not “quality time.” But I believe it “is” quality time. There is a lot to be learned from organizing things, and it improves the experience of both the adults and the kids over time. Wee tots can enhance their language and basic math skills by working with Mom on organizing the play kitchen, for example. Older kids can further refine planning, problem solving, classification skills, etc. And it’s a very legitimate thing to do as a family. Any time a family “pulls together,” that’s high quality time in my opinion.
SKL | July 3rd, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I’ve been very happy with the kids open 12-bin organizer from Target. As long as you don’t make yourself crazy by insisting that the toys have to be sorted into catagories and placed in a particular bin, you can just scoop up (or hopefully train your kids to scoop up!) all the small toys and toss them into any bin that still has room. (And if you’re filling all the bins, it’s time to purge some stuff!)
I also use clear sterlite 18-quart tubs with lids for things like blocks, play-dough, and a set we call the “marble machine”. The only downside is that my son doesn’t seem to play with these items very much — not sure if he’s just not that interested or if having them boxed away means he doesn’t notice them.
A friend had a tub for puzzles, but I haven’t been able to find one that is both large enough to fit his biggest puzzle and yet still flat.
My toughest challenge is the medium size toys — construction toys that are anywhere from 8-24 inches long. I’m planning on getting some shelves where he can park them all.
SoftwareMom | July 6th, 2009 at 9:27 am
As for fitting decluttering into the juggle, I only tidy up the play area once every two weeks, just before the cleaning lady comes, and only so that she is able to vacuum! It takes me about half an hour to do a power-tidy through our downstairs.
SoftwareMom | July 6th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Amelie’s toys have spilled over into every room. We got the Trofast organizer from IKEA for her room and managed to move most of the toys back…
But every single night, as part of the bedtime routine, I (we) pick up all toys and books and put them back into their rightful shelf/bin. It may look a disaster during the day, but by 8pm, it’s all picked up and clutter free.
It’s actually gotten to the point where if I start to tidy up during daylight hours because I’m going to vaccuum, she starts to cry and run away because she thinks it’s bedtime. Oops.
Phe | July 8th, 2009 at 12:51 am