The 36-Hour Day
with Lylah M. Alphonse
I'm a full-time editor, a part-time writer, and a mom and stepmom to five amazing kids, ages 1 to 14. For me it's not about finding balance, it's about the daily juggle-- my career, my commute, freelance work, homework, housework, married life, social life, and parenting-- and finding the time to get it all done.
To learn more about Lylah, check out her Work It, Mom! profile and read her blog at writeeditrepeat.blogspot.com.
Cut the Tooth Fairy some slack? Or just cut her out completely?
Categories: Hacking Life, Parenting, Uncategorized
Here’s the scene: Your kid dutifully tucks her still-fresh-from-the-gums baby tooth under her pillow, cuddle down and go to sleep and, in the morning… the tooth is still there.
Used to happen at our house all the time. Now that our youngest daughter is nearly 5, I’m sure it’ll be happening again, with embarrassing regularity.
The sleep-deprived Tooth Fairy has left the dollar at the breakfast table instead of under the pillow, forgotten to take the tooth away, scrounged around the couch for lost quarters at 3 a.m., left dollar coins that were too big for the kids’ piggy banks, and left paper money — which is worse, since they’re difficult to deposit into a piggy bank and even harder to withdraw. She has scrawled notes in squiggly handwriting explaining why she slipped up. Each time, the kids gleefully accepted the Tooth Fairy’s excuses — and her money, of course.
Speaking of which: the Tooth Fairy has gotten awfully expensive. I know kids who get $5 per tooth — a far cry from the quarter I was glad to receive back when I was a kid. (What’s the going rate for teeth in your neck of the woods? At my house, baby teeth are worth $1.)
At No Child Left, Patti Hartigan is torn about the Tooth Fairy tradition. “I’ve had little debates with myself over why we do this,” she writes. “They go something like this: We teach them not to lie. But it’s magic. We teach them to know the difference between their imagination and reality. But they’re so innocent. It’s a giant lie, constructed by adults. But it makes them so happy. And on and on.”
So, should we cut the Tooth Fairy some slack, — or cut her out entirely? How do you recover from a Tooth Fairy slip-up?
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I’m pretty sure I never believed in the tooth fairy, considering I was in 3rd grade when I lost my first tooth (and a HS senior when I lost my last). For me it was all about the money. But at some point my parents stopped paying up. I don’t think they paid up for molars or eye teeth. (Understandable considering they had 6 kids, or 120 baby teeth.)
This is a good question because I just can’t see myself slipping money under the pillow of my teen. I think maybe the tooth fairy in my neighborhood only pays for incisors.
Let’s see, we used to get a dime, which was 40% of the cost of a candy bar. I was beyond excited to get that dime. But maybe I will go all out and give a whole dollar when we get to that point. After all, I only have two crumbgrabbers.
I am not worried about the “lie” aspect of it. Acting out a fun imaginary plot is not lying. When children figure out it’s “pretend,” they are old enough to understand why we do it; and if not, they are greedy enough to take the money anyway.
Ha, the more I think about it, it is quite amusing how serious people can be about this whole “lie” concept - whether it’s Santa, or whatever. I think they should do a scientific study to find out whether adults are more or less well adjusted / successful if they ever believed in Santa as a child. Let’s put this major debate to rest once for all! (I mean, there are people losing sleep over this!)
SKL | July 31st, 2009 at 1:35 pm
I read an article recently that talked about how toddlers inhabit a purely magical world - it’s the way they’re wired until they’re about 4 or 5. I see no reason to dissuade that in their lives. The tooth fairy will live on in our household when the time comes - as will Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny (ridiculous tradition, but it makes them happy), fairies and whatever else she chooses to believe in.
I think the parents that define these moments of magic as parental driven lies have no imagination, don’t necessarily appreciate the magical world their kids live in (and even after the entire world ceases to be magical as toddlers grow, kids still have a broad sense of that around them) and are just entirely too serious. I think that, had my parents taken that tack when I was a child, I wouldn’t ever have started writing stories, one of my favorite pasttimes for many years. After all, a story is just a figment of one’s imagination - in this context, also a lie.
People need to lighten up and help expand their children’s imagination - not treat it as if it’s all just one great lie. Long live the Tooth Fairy! And pictsies! And Santa!
Phe | July 31st, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Ok, here’s the deal…my oldest son is nearly 11 and really has NEVER believed in the Tooth Fairy. He was 5 when he lost his first tooth, and the next morning he came downstairs and said “Mom, I just really want to see my tooth again…where did you put it?” But he loves pretending he believes in the Tooth Fairy and he loves helping his younger brother pretend. Same with Santa. It’s just a fun thing. And my Mom makes the cutest “teeth pillows” for each of her grandkids.
Sorry, the going rate in our house is $10 for the first tooth and $5 for each tooth after. But we only have two kids, and the tooth thing has been spread over nearly 6 years so far…and will likely last another 7 or 8 years, I suppose. Unfortunately for us, it seems to go in streaks…one kid will lose three teeth in two weeks!
And I have totally forgotten to leave the money. My older son covers for me usually. But your post gives me some new ideas.
Karla E | July 31st, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Just tell your kid that the tooth fairy is very busy collecting teeth all over the world and that it can take a couple of days for her to collect your daughters tooth. One or two dollar per tooth is a fair price I believe.
12 Weeks Pregnant | August 3rd, 2009 at 8:45 am
The going rate at our house is ‘whatever change we can scrounge up’ - generally around a dollar. The very-first tooth is a little more (around $2) and the first big front tooth is around $5.
The tooth fairy has, on occasion, fallen down on the job, and had to perform sleight-of-hand in the morning when no cash was found under the pillow - “Look, you must have knocked it onto the floor!”.
I don’t remember when I stopped believing, but I remember how much fun it was to be ‘in’ on the secret, and to play along for the benefit of my younger sister.
a mom | August 4th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
that happened to me.
ed | August 28th, 2009 at 7:17 pm