The 36-Hour Day
with Lylah M. Alphonse
I'm a full-time editor, a part-time writer, and a mom and stepmom to five amazing kids, ages 1 to 14. For me it's not about finding balance, it's about the daily juggle-- my career, my commute, freelance work, homework, housework, married life, social life, and parenting-- and finding the time to get it all done.
To learn more about Lylah, check out her Work It, Mom! profile and read her blog at writeeditrepeat.blogspot.com.
Like so many people I know, I went and bought a copy of the most popular work-out DVD of the moment, 30 Day Shred. It’s sitting on top of the TV console, still in the shrink wrap.
I want to get in shape. OK, I need to get in shape. But not because of a desire to look better in a bathing suit or because my 20th reunion is rapidly approaching — those both of those things are actually true. I want to get in shape because my lovely, fawn-like, reed-thin 4 1/2-year-old daughter hugged me a few weeks ago and said, “Mama, you should run around more. So you can get un-fat.”
Out of the mouths of babes, right?
So I went and bought this fitness DVD, even though I have never in my adult life had the time or patience to actually follow anything like it more than once. And I decided that, the day it arrived, I would open it up and start crunching and stretching and sweating.
Except… I didn’t. And I didn’t the next day, either. Or the next. I complain that I don’t have time to exercise, but the truth is that I don’t make time. Instead, I make excuses.
Each excuse has a kernel of truth in it, though. I really am wiped out at the end of my second shift. I really am a night-owl, and if I do manage to get up at 5 a.m., my youngest child really does seem to sense that I am conscious and gets up a few minutes after I do. I really do have two jobs to juggle and anywhere from two to five kids to care for at home, depending on the day. But staring at that shrink-wrapped DVD, I realized that I have another excuse in my arsenal.
I don’t want anyone to watch me work out.
As most moms know, when your kids are very young there isn’t much of anything you get to do without an audience. If I can’t go to the bathroom without a curious kid asking questions about feminine products, how can I possibly follow Jillian Michaels for 30 minutes without interruption? (Also: Have you looked at the cover of the DVD? Is it just me, or does Ms. Michaels look like she’s irritated by my inability to get started?)
So, friends, tell me two things. How do you make time to work out. And, perhaps more important, how do you get — and stay — motivated about it?
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I only have one 8 month old, so it is definitely easier than with your larger brood. But I get home from work and put the girl in her jogging stroller and go for 30 min. I’m doing the couch to 5 k, and I really can jog for 8 min at a time now. My husband makes dinner while we’re out.
I stay motivated because if I loose ten more pounds I can fit into all my prebaby clothes again. And also because I am flat out unhappy at this weight. I see family photos and cringe.
The other thing that helps is the endorphins. I am happier in general if I’m active. If I start doing something for a week, then I can usually stick to it.
Good luck! I tried the shred too but I didn’t really like it. I think there are more fun workouts out there. Although it gets big points for being short and intense.
alexa | August 24th, 2009 at 6:43 am
I am not very good about this, but what does work (if I’m up to it) is working out in the context of being with my kids. Examples:
1) Kid music videos where the kids are dancing and prancing around. I get up and do it too. At this point, my kids order me to “skip” through Skip to my Lou and “march” to Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, etc. (My chunkier kid demands that I hold her while “skipping” - don’t ask me why - but this makes for a terrific workout.) For “Lay Down My Burden,” I must hold my little chunk and swing her up & down throughout the song (not sure why she is ecstatic about being my burden). If I weren’t so tired by “video time” (usually around 8pm), I’d be skinny by now.
2) Yoga in the backyard in the morning or evening. It takes longer, but the kids enjoy copying me - or climbing on me during the dog and cat poses.
3) Participating at the playground. They are big enough to do most things on their own, so I take the opportunity to try building a few muscles here and there. I’m subconscious if there are other parents around so I don’t do much, but anything is better than nothing.
4) Long walks / hikes. Again slow, but better than nothing.
I figure these are all good opportunities to model some of the things I value as well as keep in decent shape.
SKL | August 24th, 2009 at 9:47 am
GYM. no work out at home. I tried that, with kids at home it does not work. Get out and go to the gym and work out. You might consider a personal trainer, depending on your budge of course, to motivate you and hold you accountable. Whatever the choice, it’s your health and should be a priority.
vera babayeva | August 24th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
I’ve struggled with making it a priority and here’s what works for me:
1. I strive to fit in some form of workout every day (I don’t plan on cheat days, but there is always at least one that happens). But everyday I try to plan in a short workout by the time I’m off to bed.
2. I stopped being embarased about doing a workout dvd at home. I’ve done it in front of relatives and a best friend. I don’t care - if it’s a priority it has to be done. I’ve done it after midnight (can’t do it in the morning though).
3. I go for a run - training for 5K takes under 40 minutes a day and it’s free.
4. When I was on my own with a kid and couldn’t go for a run I’ve run up and down the stairs (we have a lot of them in a townhouse) - 50-60 up and downs work up a good sweat and I’m out of breath.
5. I put my son on a bike and run along
6. My son knows not to disturb me or ask questions when I’m doing an exercise video, he just had to learn. He can join if he likes.
Maria | August 24th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
excellent questions . . . I struggled too . . . and the only thing that has stuck for me is running (which was walking at first before it became running). I can do it any time. It gets me out of the house and alone. it’s very cheap (though I do purchase good shoes). as for motivation: I hate it, I do, almost every time I hate it. so why do I keep going out 3 times a week? I LOVE having DONE it. it’s a great feeling. and more importantly, it’s done AWESOME things for my body and health.
gretchen | August 25th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Our cable provider’s “On Demand” selection includes FREE exercise/workout selections.
Other than that, I run, a lot (either outdoors in our neighborhood OR indoors on my treadmill) and play with a 20# wiggling medicine ball aka my son. We take a momma-and-me swim class, and I do lap swim afterwards (hubby comes with, does lap swim during the class and then we trade) through our school district’s community ed classes.
CV | August 27th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
My 30 Day Shred is still in the shrink wrap as well. I have so many good intensions, but never seem to follow through. I used to run in the early mornings before the rest of the family was up, but lately I’ve just been so tired that I can’t muster up the energy. I know that if I were to start exercising I’d have more energy, but it’s hard to get started. A couple years ago I did the ‘couch to 5K’ program, and have vowed (to myself) that I’ll do it again once school starts. There’s a Thanksgiving day 5K that will give me a goal to work toward.
Jeanne | August 28th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
I see you definitely have your hands full. I feel quite the way you do at times, just so overwhelmed. However, speaking from experience, I believe that it is only when YOU decide that you YOU want to make yourself a priority that you just figure it all out, set all other issues and reasons aside and just do it. Weight loss isnt even about having that 30 minutes to 1 hour workout. That’s not really necessary. If you can get up just 10-15 minutes earlier in the morning, that is enough time ot get yourself some greentea (hot or cold) and do a 10 minute mini workout. You lose weight simply by increasing your amount of calories burned through the day. So if you can fit in 3 - 10 minute workouts a day, then you can manage it. Simply do 10 minutes of high intensity workouts…..warm up for 2 minutes and the spend the next 6 mnutes rotating between higher level of workout, to a lower pace bringing the heart rate down…then after the last set do a 2 minute cool down. that is enough to get your energy level up and burn calories throughout the entire day.
Angela | August 30th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
I am a better mom when I have had the time to work on myself (exercise) at least every other day. I have more patience, I laugh more easily, and I have an easier time letting the little things go after I have had a good sweat all by my lonesome…I know this, and this is what keeps me motivated. My husband and I carve this time out for each other…he watches our 9mo and 2 yr old for me, and I for him during his run time. It is one of our best examples of team work. I like to run and bike, but I am convinced that everyone can find some type of exercise they enjoy.
elena | September 21st, 2009 at 12:05 am