The 36-Hour Day
with Lylah M. Alphonse
I'm a full-time editor, a part-time writer, and a mom and stepmom to five amazing kids, ages 1 to 14. For me it's not about finding balance, it's about the daily juggle-- my career, my commute, freelance work, homework, housework, married life, social life, and parenting-- and finding the time to get it all done.
To learn more about Lylah, check out her Work It, Mom! profile and read her blog at writeeditrepeat.blogspot.com.
The other night, I was sitting in my family room, TV on, my husband at his desk in the corner, tapping away on his laptop. I settled down on the couch, reached for my own computer, and realized… I didn’t have any work to do.
Here’s the sad part: I didn’t really know what to do with myself. Watch TV? I mean actually, really, pay attention to what’s on the screen at the other end of the room? Read a book that I’m not reviewing? Write an extra blog post or two?
I knew that there were plenty of little projects that needed to be done around the house, but nothing that I could actually finish before fatigue set in. I am reluctant to admit this, but I mentally thumbed through my to-do list, trying to think of what work I could get done, and it took a while before it occurred to me that I could go and take a long soaky bath, or slip in a DVD, or something that didn’t involve reading, writing, or editing.
And then… the real realization: Most people are probably not like this. We’ve already established that I don’t really know how to relax, but this not knowing what to do with myself when I’m not working, it just can’t be normal. Most people actually, you know, do other things when they are not working. Not necessarily special-occasion things, or special, me-time moments, just… non-work things.
So, my friends. What non-work things do you do when you’re not working?
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Hi, I think we are all too rushed.
http://gnsd.blogspot.com/2009/05/are-we-too-rushed.html
We like to do things all the time.. the long showers, lazy afternoons, a siesta.. all seem like a waste of time or an indulgence…
I am trying to cahnge that..
Non work things: Read a book, actually sleep at an early hour, Clean up warddrobe, go for a walk.. and above all.. indulge in long showers. I enjoy cooking, so somethings its amazing to cook up something that the family wll enjoy together!!
GNSD | September 18th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Music tops my list. Or getting a book and “allowing a nap to take me”
Mich | September 18th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I also have a tendency to reach for work-related stuff or to finish a project at home if I find myself with a bit of time. I am trying to be more disciplined about making “non-work” things a priority but like you, I fall into the trap. This post is a really good reminder:)
Nataly | September 20th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Reminds me of this piece from April 08 in the Globe about the absence of boredom and what we lose went we don’t have enough of it: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2008/03/09/the_joy_of_boredom/?page=full
my take on it here: http://dadtoday.blogspot.com/2008/04/finding-me-in-microboredom.html
now and then good just to be STILL
(and BORED)
Stefan | September 20th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
I write a friend a letter, call my grandmother, listen to music with propped pillows both behind my back, neck and under my knees to relieve all bodily tension, while thumbing a magazine or reading a classic novel (although the letter writing and the reading are work-related for you—understood). I go to my pool and put in 1 mile, or slip in a 3mile jog + good stretching…yes, stretching…not the stressful kind, but the “it’s time to relax and relive the tension throughout”" kind…soothing music, dim lighting, soft clothing, and my breathing.
You’d think I do these things all the time, right? It’s more like 1-2 times per week (during nap time), if there aren’t bills to pay, a house showing to clean for, and/or MD appnt calls to be made.
You simply need to re-identify with your peaceful self…she’s in there somewhere, you need to send out the line and reel her back in (dark chocolate and soft red wine also helps) ;o)
Meredith | September 21st, 2009 at 2:44 pm