When I was a kid, every Dec. 31st I’d resolve to exercise more, be nicer to my brothers, keep my room clean, practice my violin more often, and pull my grades up. And every year, every one of those mild resolutions would drop by the wayside within a month — sometimes sooner.

When I hit college, I dropped the resolution about the grades from my list. And you know what? I made the Dean’s List every semester.

It took me a while to catch on, but now that I’m staring down 40, I’ve finally figured out that the quickest way for me to fail at something is to make it a New Year’s resolution.
Read the rest of this entry

Now that our oldest kids are teenagers I can say for certain that the window when kids think chores are fun and beg you to let them help you is very, very small. In fact, while our oldest is certain that I do not believe in happiness because I keep asking her to load the dishwasher, my youngest two, who are 5 and 3, act like I’ve offered to buy them a pony when I ask them to set the table or whirl the salad spinner.

Read the rest of this entry

I’ve got the big outside-my-comfort-zone trip is coming up this weekend. Honestly, I haven’t even finished — OK, started — cleaning up from last weekend, when my parents and brothers and sisters-in-law and nieces and nephew and a couple of friends were here to celebrate early Christmas (and get stuck in the snowstorm that hit the Boston area). This is what drives the Lazy Perfectionist in me absolutely batty: There’s so much to do that I don’t want to do any of it, because I’m worried I won’t be able to get it all done in time. Also: I have to get it all done while juggling my jobs and getting enough done in advance there so as not to incur the wrath of my coworkers while I’m gone.

I think the Universe it watching out for me, though, because I’ve received a ton of great tips geared for trips like this. Here are the best of the bunch:
Read the rest of this entry

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about my comfort zone. Or, more specifically, whether I leave it often enough.

Next week, we’ll be packing our youngest kids into the car and driving 1,200 miles to spend the rest of the holidays with their big siblings and their grandparents. While I love my in-laws and my big kids dearly, I will readily admit that I am seriously questioning my sanity right now. Because the last long drive I took was from Syracuse, N.Y., to Hilton Head, S.C., and at the time I was 18 and did not require sleep.
Read the rest of this entry

With all due respect, Andy Rooney, it’s awfully hard for me to feel badly for you because you’re uncomfortable having “quite a bit” of money right now. 

It’s not because I’m feeling cash-strapped and stressed. It’s because the Christmas tree at my youngest kids’ preschool is decorated with tiny colored lights and pairs of red and green paper mittens, and on the mittens are scrawled Christmas wishes from local children.

The wishes aren’t extravagant. A 5-year-old asked for “any toy.” A 14-year-old wanted a set of extra-large fleecy pajama bottoms. A tween asked for a scarf, gloves, and a hat. Several teens each requested a gift certificate to a fast food place; one child asked for a gift card to a local grocery store.

This is the new, heartbreaking norm. According to the Wall Street Journal, kids are asking Santa to bring the essentials this year — shoes and socks, eyeglasses, and even jobs for their parents. A recent survey by the American Psychological Association says that children are more stressed out than ever before, and about 30 percent of kids surveyed said their top worry was about their family’s financial situation.

Read the rest of this entry

Last year at Christmas, I stood in the living room amid the swirling scraps of wrapping paper and heaps of ribbon and ripped-up boxes, and thought, “There has got to be a better way.”

Having five kids makes for a lot of post-Christmas detrius, even though it’s true that as the kids get bigger, the gifts get smaller (and more expensive). And the economy has dictated that this Christmas is going to be a little leaner than Christmases past. But if I’m going to go for a more eco-friendly holiday, there are still several areas where I can make a change or two.
Read the rest of this entry

I’ve got a couple years until I hit the big 4-0, but a recent cancer scare has made me start taking my health more seriously. There’s a history of different types of cancer in my family, some fatal, on both sides. So when the new guidelines for mamograms came out last month, stating that annual screenings were no longer recommended for women younger than 50 (and that self-exams weren’t helpful, either), I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Wait 10 more years to start screening for something that’s already in my family? Get tested for the BRCA1 cancer gene, and then decide? What?
Read the rest of this entry

Of the many items on the average working mom’s workplace wish list, a flexible schedule, on-site or subsidized day care, and paid sick leave are probably the most coveted. But a new study by the Academy of Management Journal suggests that some women are being penalized for using their companies’ family-friendly perks.

“Women who take advantage of programs like on-site child care or flextime or paid time off for parenting are only undermining their prospects for advancement,” the study’s lead author, Jenny Hoobler, said in a news release.
Read the rest of this entry