with Amy Urquhart
I’m Amy and I’ve spent the last three years trying to strike that perfect balance between being a wife, mom and professional career woman. I’ve decided that I’ll never perfect the art of “having it all”, but this blog is a chronicle of my attempts to continue to do so. I’m a blogger (my personal blog about Canadian home life is Hearts into Home), gardener, college instructor, wife to Graham and mom to Nate. If you’re also a working mom who finds there just aren’t enough hours in the day, I hope you’ll enjoy this column!
Read her blog at Hearts into Home.
I read Sunday’s Washington Post article, in which Brigid Schulte talks to experts and tries to figure out where her time goes, while I was at the office, waiting for a story to be submitted. According to sociologist John Robinson, that was leisure time, even though I was at my desk. “Women have time,” he told Schulte. “Women have at least 30 hours of leisure every week. In fact, women have more leisure now than they did in the 1960s, even though more women are working outside the home.”
I guess it all depends on how you define “leisure.” Robinson says the time I spend alone in my car is leisure time. I say that focusing on the road and trying to beat the daycare clock is not leisurly at all. He’d classify the time I spent gathering background information for this and other articles as leisure; I call it “part of my job.” Also: It’s worth noting that, per Robinson’s calculations, of the 28 hours of so-called leisure time he cobbled together from notes about Schulte’s day-to-day juggle, 18 of them were spent with kids in tow (even the two hours she spent in her broken-down car with her daughter, waiting for a tow truck — leisure).
You know how we’re always talking about how it’s quality time, not quanity of time, that’s important? It seems to me that Robinson is measuring exactly the opposite: Quanity, not quality.
“Clearly I love Caroline and Edward and Patrick more than I love salt but as much as I enjoy spending time with them I have to confess that I don’t really see it as leisure,” writes Julia at Here Be Hippogriffs. “Now that we are liberated from the notion that the only labor is paid labor how do you qualify free time?”
Meagan Francis at The Happiest Mom writes what most of us are thinking: “Yes, it may be a bit hard to swallow the fact that Robinson, an unmarried, childless man seems to be telling moms with spouses and young, needy children and demanding jobs to stop and smell the roses.” But there’s away around the resentment, she says: “We can also move toward seeing our kids as more than a job, more than an obligation, and think of them as a big part of our leisure time.”
Working moms, how do you define “leisure”? Is all free time leisure time in your book? And is all non-work time really “free” for you?
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