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The 36-Hour Day

with Lylah M. Alphonse

I'm a full-time editor, a part-time writer, and a mom and stepmom to five amazing kids, ages 1 to 14. For me it's not about finding balance, it's about the daily juggle-- my career, my commute, freelance work, homework, housework, married life, social life, and parenting-- and finding the time to get it all done.

To learn more about Lylah, check out her Work It, Mom! profile and read her blog at writeeditrepeat.blogspot.com.

If you don’t ask, then the answer is always “no”

Categories: Career, Hacking Life, Making Time, The Juggle, Uncategorized, Working? Living?

4 comments

I started working for my current company fresh out of college — a rarity in my profession, so much so that the Dean of the school used to tell prospective parents about my new job, turning it into a selling point for students. At the time, I told people it was all luck and secretly chalked it up to equal parts hard work and good timing, but the truth is that I really owe my well-established career to my advisor.

I wasn’t going to apply for the job, you see. I was too young, too inexperienced, I thought. They’d never take a chance on me.

But really, my advisor pointed out, I  wasn’t taking a chance on them.

“You should apply anyway,” he told me. ”They might say yes. But if you don’t apply, then the answer is definitely no.”

I started with the excuses. He cut me off.

“What do you have to lose?” he asked out. “A stamp, an envelope, and the paper you print your resume on?”

So I did it. And instead of saying no, they called and asked me to fly to Boston for a week-long interview, where they gave me a 10-minute tutorial on their computer system and dropped me onto a copy desk with veteran editors, some of whom had been doing their jobs for longer than I’d been alive. And, a couple of weeks after that, they offered me the job I was sure I wouldn’t — couldn’t — get.

Fast forward more than 15 years.

I’m still at the company, though I’ve switched jobs several times and climbed ladders and moved laterally and diagonally and even downshifted a bit once our kids came along. Recently, I promised myself that I’d look into every career opportunity that came my way. I took on a few projects for free, to bulk up the thin parts on my resume. I took on more responsibility at work, to gain new skills and sharpen up some old ones. And, even though I hate to negotiate, I took a deep breath and did it a few times, with good results.

Every time I think “I’m not good enough” or “They’d never consider that,” I ask myself what I really have to lose. Sometimes, there’s something significant, but more often than not, there’s not. So I remind myself that the experience alone — whether I get what I want or not — is a pretty good return on an investment of only a stamp, and envelope, and some resume-quality paper (and these days it’s even cheaper, what with social media and applications via email). And I ask.

Whether you need help at home or at work, or want to land a new freelance client, if you don’t ask, then the answer will always be “no.”

Think carefully: What have you got to lose?

Let’s encourage one another: What have you been too scared to ask for? What do you need to do in order to reach your goals?

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4 comments so far...

  • This is great. SO TRUE.

    Leah K  |  January 28th, 2010 at 3:46 pm

  • What do I need to do to reach my goals?

    I think that the first thing I need to do is figure out what they are and go from there.

    I’m too scared to try to apply for freelance writing positions…it’s so far out of my field of experience, but it’s all I ever really wanted to do.

    Phe  |  January 29th, 2010 at 8:21 am

  • This is so true. I did something similar. I now teach college, but I come from a professional (not pure academic) background. I have the right degrees, but didn’t go the research route. When my kids came along, I wanted to move into a more flexible work environment. Although still a huge amount of work (for less pay), academia is just more flexible than a “real” job in corporate America. I picked up a couple of adjunct classes at local colleges, but really wanted to teach full-time, but non tenure track positions are hard to come by. Finally, the large state university relatively close to me posted a position in my general field, but in an area in which I had very little expertise. On paper, I was qualified, but in reality I wasn’t. I went back and forth as to whether to apply. On one hand, I really wanted to just get my resume in front of the big uni department (so they would know I was out there for when the right position did come along), but on the other I didn’t want to be seen a fool for applying for something for which I really wasn’t qualified. I decided to take the gamble. A couple of weeks later, I got a call from the Professor heading the search committee. He said exactly what I knew to be true…I was qualified on paper but not really qualified. But then he said he was glad to get my resume and would have it for when a more suitable position opened up. A couple of weeks after that, the uni called because they needed an emergency adjunct, and I took the gig to get my toe in the door and meet people. The next term, a full-time spot in my area opened and I got the job. I know it might not have turned out so well, but I’m awfully glad to have gambled.

    Pat  |  January 29th, 2010 at 11:55 am

  • I want a 3/4 time position. Something that allows me to take 2 afternoons off a week to take daughter to therapy appointments myself. As she gets older talking to the therapists becomes more important than the 4 times a year at reviews.
    But in this economy suggesting that they only need you 35 hours instead of 40+ CAN be the kiss of death.

    Mich  |  January 29th, 2010 at 5:05 pm

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