The 36-Hour Day
with Lylah M. Alphonse
I'm a full-time editor, a part-time writer, and a mom and stepmom to five amazing kids, ages 1 to 14. For me it's not about finding balance, it's about the daily juggle-- my career, my commute, freelance work, homework, housework, married life, social life, and parenting-- and finding the time to get it all done.
To learn more about Lylah, check out her Work It, Mom! profile and read her blog at writeeditrepeat.blogspot.com.
Do you blog? Why or why not?
Categories: Career, Hacking Life, Making Time, The Juggle, Uncategorized, Working? Living?
Last week, I spoke to a roomful of marketing and public relations professionals as part of a panel on Mommy Blogging — even though I’ve never thought of myself as a Mommy Blogger.
I was in some amazing company: Marketing guru Susan Getgood, one of the cofounders of Blog with Integrity, was the moderator, and the other panelists were Jodi Grundig of Multitasking Mommy, Audrey McClelland of Mom Generations, and Christy Matte of Quirky Fusion and More than Mommy. (Jennifer Leal of Savor the Thyme was slated to join us, but was thwarted by traffic and weather.)
What I learned — and what I really, really hope the PR and marketing people learned — is that there really is no one type of Mommy Blogger.
Sure, all of the panelists were moms. Sure, we all write blogs — more than one, for the most part. But our goals and our reasons for blogging were all different. Jodi and Audrey are entrepreneurs who are building empires out of their blogs. Christy has a robust freelance career and a technology focus. Me, I’m a newspaper editor and a freelance writer; while my blog posts have personal elements woven in, they’re basically topical columns written for other publications, and my own blog started out as my online clips file — it’s never been my journal.
So, while I was sitting there listening to these amazing women talk about their blogs, and listening to PR and marketing people ask us whether we go on junkets or expect compensation for reviews, I started wondering about the silent third group in the room: The people who read our blogs.
How many of them are Mommy Bloggers, too? Did they start writing because they felt isolated and wanted to connect with other moms? Were they searching for someone who could relate to what they were going through? Did they realize that, for them, you can take the woman out of the workforce but you can’t take the work out of the woman?
The readers are the people the PR and marketing professionals sitting in front of me wanted to reach, really. They — and their buying power — were the ones who mattered. And they were the ones we knew the least about.
So, readers, I’m asking: Do you blog, too? Why did you start? If you don’t, why not?
Take a second, delurk, and leave a link to your blog in the comments… I’ll be sure to stop by and say hi.
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I blog - lilmisbusy.blogspot.com. My audience is basically my husband, best friend and mother-in-law, since it’s chronicle of our lives. I work full-time so I don’t get to post often, but it’s like a substitute baby book for me. I do get more feedback on it now that it’s part of my facebook updates, and I enjoy that, but I wish I had the opportunity to do more with it.
LilMisBusy | February 1st, 2010 at 10:35 am
I don’t have a blog, nor a facebook page, nor any other home on the Web. Every once in a while I get the itch to “blog” something, but I know my schedule would not permit me to keep it up on an ongoing basis. Also, I feel that my life is, in general, too mundane to interest others. And I would be concerned about privacy - mine and my kids’. However, when I have something really big to get off my chest, there are a couple of websites (a friend’s blog here, a forum there) where I contribute from time to time.
I do love browsing other moms’ blogs, so I guess in this respect I take a lot more than I give.
SKL | February 1st, 2010 at 11:05 am
I’ve been blogging for about 5 years. I started because someone told me that I needed to “write this stuff down” referring to the stories I told. I’ve always been a writer/storyteller and suddenly I had an outlet.
I’ve long kept my blogging and private/professional worlds separate, but that wall is starting to slowly break down (facebook will do that).
Taking the next step with my writing will likely mean smashing that wall altogether, and that frightens me a bit. Hard to have a full time job and any kind of writing career.
Lisse | February 1st, 2010 at 10:11 pm
My blog (http://nprice.aupairnews.com) is specific to au pair childcare, from my personal experience as an au pair, to tips to host parents considering an au pair for the first time (interviewing, matching, country-specific information).
I try to blog at least once a week and keep it up. I have only started last November.
Sometimes it is more “commercial” with program updates and promotions, but mostly, I try to really keep it to helpful information for my readers.
For personal, I use facebook to keep friends updated and I use LinkedIn for professional networking…
FrenchNad | February 1st, 2010 at 11:07 pm
I’ve been blogging for about 5 years, as well, at http://helloself.blogspot.com. It started when I returned to work after my first son was born. I had always kept journals and knew I didn’t have time for paper-and-pen anymore. It was also an exercise in better writing, which I do for my job. (The writing has devovled! LOL) I have, I don’t know, 30-40 readers? Including my immediate family and some real-life friends, but some that I’ve only met online. I feel like I fall in with the “general masses” of mom-bloggers, although I do write about more than just my kids. I post maybe once a week now, have never done any product reviews or anything lucrative with it — it’s just for my own enjoyment. Although like anyone, I have had secret hopes/dreams for it…
Lee | February 2nd, 2010 at 10:39 am
A very good article!
I think we all are blogging, we all wants to share something interesting of our lives: our families, our jobs, our hobbies or just our dreams… each blog in his own way.
I’ll definitely visit your personal blgo, also, you a have an interesting point of view.
Alan
Alan Haft | February 2nd, 2010 at 11:35 am
You know I do blog. I’ve blogged for almost 10 years though - mostly a personal journal on Livejournal.com that is friends locked these days. But I also started writing Mom on Reserve after blogging here and seeing that I attracted a broad reader base when my entries were featured up there in the “Features” thingamajig.
I don’t know why I do it. I’ve always written, from a very young age. Maybe part of it is to put a different perspective in the Mommy Blogosphere…and maybe another part of it is to keep my writing skills as sharp as they ever will be.
As a planner at work, it’s easy to lose a creative edge. When I said I wanted to grow up and be a writer, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind (though it is fair warning that the old adage “Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it,” remains so very true).
Whyever I do it, it’s done and I usually enjoy it. Because it’s not for pay, I feel like I have more leeway and can say, “F___ it,” on some nights and just not post.
I just don’t know what I want it to be yet. I suppose it will take it’s own shape at some point and tell me what IT wants to be. It’s up to me to help it find itself.
Phe | February 2nd, 2010 at 12:08 pm
I started blogging almost four years ago after a friend started a collaborative mom’s blog and needed writers. I wanted to be the voice of the working mom but quickly found that I had more to say about life in general so I started my own blog less than a year later.
I wrote about my journey into blogging and the community I found
http://www.whosthebossblog.com/my_weblog/2009/01/blogging-creates-community.html
For me, blogging will always be a hobby. It’s a creative outlet for me. I’m happy in my “real job” and don’t expect that I could make what I do in the corporate world by being a writer unless I struck the big time. And I don’t really want to strike the big time. Writing is fun when its not tied to my mortgage payment.
Robyn - Who's the Boss? | February 2nd, 2010 at 12:58 pm
I have a blog that I started two years ago: (http://www.sabbaticalmom.blogspot.com) I started it while I was on a sabbatical from my full-time job (hence the name) under the premise that I’d use the posts to keep people updated on what I was doing with the kids while I was out of the office…but really I think the thought of being away from work slightly terrified me, and I just liked the idea of having some specific tasks (I must blog today!) to cross off the list each day.
When my sabbatical ended and I returned to work, I continued blogging because I simply adored it. As someone already mentioned, it is a creative outlet for me, which I need since my days are spent crunching numbers and not being particularly creative. If someone asked me why I blog, my first response would probably be that it is an easy way to keep friends and family posted on my life and to share updates on the kids. In reality, that probably is not the main reason for the blog. Facebook fills that need for me, and I don’t think most of my friends really even read my blog. I blog for me – to record the silly things my kids say, random thoughts I’ve had, and fun family traditions that might otherwise be forgotten down the road (since those scrapbooks never seem to get finished!) I’ll also be the first one to admit that it also helps me feel less isolated (does that sound pathetic? Ha!) as a working mom. My days are filled with work in a male-dominated office, my weekends are filled with kids’ activities – there is not much time for shopping with friends or chatting on the phone anymore. I appreciate the connections that I’ve made through blogging.
JenS | February 2nd, 2010 at 1:36 pm
I don’t blog, largely I feel I don’t have enough to write continuously about.
I read a few blogs, but not many. I love to answer others blog postings though.
Mich | February 2nd, 2010 at 2:28 pm
So happy to hear you say there’s more than one type of mom that blogs - I get frustrated by the media-driven cookie-cutter image of a “typical mom blogger”. It’s so inaccurate it’s maddening.
I’m a working mom blogger - and I find myself in the minority fairly often - even more so because I’m a single (divorced) working mom.
I find it ironic on an ongoing basis that working moms are the “online” minority, but the “offline” majority. It’s also ironic that the vast majority of moms who self-identify as “working moms” are freelance, part-time or entrepreneurs - who don’t represent many of the core issues of most working moms - but they’re viewed by media and advertisers as the only kind of “working mom” there is.
There’s still a long way to go.
I find the shift over the last 4/5 years in mommy blogging motivation fascinating. It used to be all about community building - but in recent years blogging became a revenue generating activity. Now with the rise of social media online content is again swinging back to community building.
Personally - I started keeping an online journal in 2000 when my first child was born with extensive and complicated health issues. I needed a support community and couldn’t find one - so I made it myself. The support was an amazing resource that nothing else could match.
I continued blogging after my divorce, and then as a single/working mom, and now as a working mom in a new relationship. I have a huge group of friends I made through blogging (many are also still blogging) and I learned a great deal in all sorts of unexpected places.
I find the time to blog by using small chunks of time in the day to add to whatever I’m working on. I jot down ideas while waiting for meetings to start, make notes on my PDA while on my commute to work (transit), take a photo or type out a paragraph on my lunch hour, and skip a bit of sleep to finalize it all. I also keep a “story bank” for times when I need ideas.
http://momartfully.typepad.com
Momartfully | February 3rd, 2010 at 2:33 am
I am a work away from the home mom with a preschooler. I discovered the blogosphere last year over my holiday vacation. I couldn’t believe there were all these amazing women out there going through the same thing I was, struggling to balance life. I also have always had this longing to be creative. I have piles of books on writing, poetry, acting, photography, that I have collected over the years. Blogging seemed like a way I could exercise my creative muscle and meet some other moms doing the same! I lurked around all year wondering how I would find the time and feeling like my words or pictures just really didn’t measure up. But when my holiday vacation came around again I spent much of it setting up my blog! Finding the time to post has turned into a real challenge and after one week I had to establish some rules as I was getting very little sleep and my daughter was making it clear she didn’t like sharing her mommy with the computer! I do love it though, especially the connection to other women who are also trying to create and share their vision, their voice!
realmom | February 3rd, 2010 at 8:52 am
I do blog and love it. I’ve done it for 2.5 years now(www.stacey1227.blogspot.com) and it serves mostly as my journal. I love having a place where I can vent (although now that more people lurk around my blog I have to be a bit more careful with what I say). It’s fun to go back to when I first started and see what my thoughts were. I’ve found that I can type WAY faster than I can write and don’t get writer’s cramp. It’s a legacy for my kids and the comments are fantastic. I love what other people think of my thougts. It’s one place that is all about me and what goes on in my life. Not like real life where it’s egotistical to be all about one’s self.
Stacey | February 3rd, 2010 at 5:49 pm
I really want to start a blog but wonder what is the best way to make it rewarding - both personally and financially?
Nikki T | February 3rd, 2010 at 10:57 pm
I’m also a working mom who actively blogs, often 2-3 times a day. It started as simply a way to communicate to friends and family about our third pregnancy in 2007. But it has become my creative outlet, my break, my journal. And sometimes, my sanity. Add to that the incredible community of people I have found and it has been a blessing.
Molly | February 4th, 2010 at 12:53 am
I just started blogging in earnest.
myjustrightspot.blogspot.com started when I began seeing a psychologist to help me with what I thought was life stresses that were getting in my way. Turns out, it’s much more than that, and now so is my blog. It’s overwhelming for me to surf the web and find all the blogs and mommies that are out there, but, I’ve begun to settle in and get comfortable in the blogging world. Blogging has been a wonderful outlet for me.
Mama Murtz | February 4th, 2010 at 9:13 am
Hello! Great post! This is my first time on and I will definitely be back.
My husband and I started http://www.dancinghotdogs.com because we needed a space to express ourselves creatively. We were both new parents and young full time working professionals and we needed an outlet that was fun and our own. Our site gave us a chance to write about our shared passion of entertainment and movies. The site has grown into so much more, we write about NYC events, technology, entertainmend and so much more. I love my little space on the internet and I know it makes me a better mommy, wife and person.
Divina | February 4th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I blog also. I update only about once a week but truly love it. I love all the friends and connections Iv’e made. And love how family and friends can check in on how or what we are up too just by visiting my site.
It can really take up a lot of your time. But it sure is fun!
Marcela Beatty | February 4th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
I started blogging this year: http://flackchick.wordpress.com/. I’ve always wanted to, but for some reason, I held back. This is the year I actually got up the nerve to do so. My blog is industry focused - I am in public relations - but I do plan to get personal. I am just writing and getting the feel for it right now.
I do freelance from home (laid off in December 2008), but I hope to continue doing this even if/when I find a full time position.
I also Tweet (@nlinton). I hated Twitter at first and now I love it. I find others’ blogs there and read those for tips and inspiration.
Nicole | February 4th, 2010 at 8:43 pm
I started blogging to pay forward the gift of stories I received as a dad-to-be. When I was waiting for our first to be born, I was pretty overwhelmed and stressed. The baby books piling up in our house somehow just added to the sense of overwhelm - too many tips and tactics and advice. In the end and just in time, the only thing that made a difference, that helped me get into the dad head space, was a gathering of dads I hosted at our house. I fed them dinner. They fed me their stories. Only then did I feel ready.
A year into fatherhood, I started to record our stories at http://www.dadtoday.com.
For years and years, I had kept a journal, but had run out of steam. Too much navel gazing. A little bit of clarity for myself, but too much wondering - is this just for my kids and grandkids to thumb through at the reception after my memorial service when they get sick of talking to each other?
In contrast, a blog is live, is about connection, is now. For me, having an audience in mind unlocked the blocked writing -
first at http://www.dadtoday.com - and for a long time my only audience, I think, was my mom, but it grew - and then became a book at http://tinyurl.com/tfoac-amazon, and another blog for work reflections at http://pulseofchange.blogspot.com, and a recent one to track the triumphs and traps of working from the no-seller to the bestseller list at http://fromnotobest.blogspot.com.
So easy to start these things, why not? If you lose interest and/or they never get traction, no big deal. They’re free. Try something new!
Thanks for asking.
Stefan | February 8th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
Well I’m not a mom, never got blessed that way. Instead I am a woman fighting a chronic illness or two. Hoping to come out on top one day. I blog about what ever interests me that day,
I started blogging a long time ago with Live Journal, expanded about two years ago to blog spot and then word press. Since I needed accounts in both blogs to comment on other people’s blogs.
http://fibrowitch.blogspot.com/
http://tapadance.wordpress.com/
Jan D - Fibrowitch | February 15th, 2010 at 1:52 pm