The 36-Hour Day
with Lylah M. Alphonse
I'm a full-time editor, a part-time writer, and a mom and stepmom to five amazing kids, ages 1 to 14. For me it's not about finding balance, it's about the daily juggle-- my career, my commute, freelance work, homework, housework, married life, social life, and parenting-- and finding the time to get it all done.
To learn more about Lylah, check out her Work It, Mom! profile and read her blog at writeeditrepeat.blogspot.com.
How do you unwind?
Categories: Hacking Life, Making Time, Uncategorized, Working? Living?
I usually gripe about not having the wherewithal to exercise, to sleep, to make time for myself. Turns out I’m not alone.
According to a recent survey by the American Psychological Association, 75 percent of adults reported experiencing “moderate to high levels of stress” in the past month, and 42 percent said that their stress levels have increased in the past year. And more and more people don’t feel like they have the energy to deal with it.
According to the study:
47 percent of respondents report that they have lain awake at night
45 percent report irritability or anger
43 percent report fatigue
40 percent report lack of interest, motivation or energy
Nearly a third of respondents report headaches, feelings of depression, and sadness; 27 percent blame stress for their upset stomachs and indisgtestion.
Though more of us are experiencing stress, fewer of us are willing to do much about it, the survey found. Some — as many as 44 percent — reported exercising or walking to relieve stress, but more people listen to music, read, watch TV or movies, or play video games to relax.
At The Wall Street Journal’s The Juggle, Helen L. Coons, a clinical psychologist and a fellow of the APA, suggests that one reason people don’t tackle the long-term job of managing their stress is that they feel they don’t have enough time to do so. “We need to “reframe ‘self care’ as something that is not selfish,” she said.
When you were a kid did you ever over-wind your watch or your wind-up toy, to the point where you jammed the gears and the darn thing didn’t work anymore? (I’m totally going to assume here that you are about my age, and your first watch was not digital.) Well, that’s what we’re doing to ourselves now: We’re so used to running full-tilt into walls, working and living and trying to juggle our careers and our families, that the idea of taking time to take care of ourselves seems selfish or unimportant.
It’s more than just “me” time. It’s “me” management.
I’d ask you if you’re stressed, but that just seems silly — of course you are, some days more so than others. Instead, I want to know how you manage your stress. Do you do something active, like exercise? Do you do something passive, like eat? How do you unwind after a long and stressful day?
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I don’t tend to wind down until after Amelie is in bed. At that point, it’s off with the clothes, on with the comfy yoga pants and t-shirt and then either on to the internet or stretched out on the couch, feet propped up on DH and reading a book.
Some nights, I don’t even get that far. I’ll do dishes, finish cleaning/laundry/whatever and then head straight to bed.
But I don’t always necessarily feel like I have to unwind, so to speak. I am pretty good at leaving work and commute stress behind me when I walk through the door and shifting gears right off.
Phe | November 16th, 2009 at 10:01 am
First of all, it’s unusual for me to get very “wound up” to the point where I would need to “wind down.” When that does happen, usally a little light internet surfing helps, or writing a long rant-y email to a trusted friend. Housecleaning is always nice to do if I have excess energy that I don’t know what to do with (though unfortunately I’m more likely to be short on time/energy). Or if the weather is nice, a little hike in my woodsy / hilly backyard.
SKL | November 16th, 2009 at 10:23 am
My coffee/tea first thing in the morning is my time. Otherwise, I love reading or putting on headphones and zoning out to a good track.
Miss Stepmom | November 16th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
This was really timely for me. I don’t seem to get any time at all. I work a corporate job, while my husband can do a lot of his work from home. Yet, I have been denied any method of unwinding because he wants to sleep early (8.30 - in a country where most people have dinner at 9pm). And if I want to surf the net or watch a little TV, he freaks out - I mean r-e-a-l-l-y freaks out. He blames me for our son sleeping late (this child has always hated sleeping, right since he was born and his pediatrician says not to worry about it too much.)
I hate weekends because there’s so much to be done and I can’t so much as get a nap in. I’ve been piling on the pounds and this lack of my-time is affecting me physically and mentally. We went away for a long weekend recently, but I had a miserable time because I couldn’t do anything that I wanted.
I so-ooo need to figure things out - if only I could get two days to myself.
A Lost Writer (from India) | November 17th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
We’re actually trying to get data from mothers about the recessions affect on their families. It may be why 42 percent of people have experienced increase stress in the last year. Take our survey here, we’d love to get your insight: http://www.mothersclick.com/economic-survey
Mothersclick | November 17th, 2009 at 1:58 pm