My husband regularly works long hours and even pulls all-nighters in order to clear his plate at the office. I used to, too — before a pay cut made me take a second look at how much my time was worth.

Sure, hard work always pays off, as the saying goes. It just seems like sometimes it pays a lot less than it used to. When the work piles up and I can’t get it done during the work day, instead of automatically bringing it home with me I find myself calculating the dwindling dollars and cents of my hourly wage and deciding that I’m more than willing to do it on company time, for pay, but not at home, for free.
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I had to take a couple of deep breaths in order to get past the first paragraph of this BBC News story: “Children whose mothers work are less likely to lead healthy lives than those with ’stay at home’ mothers, a study says.”

The study by the UCL Institute of Child Heath (ICH) focused on the families of 12,500 5-year-olds; the same children took part in an earlier study which found that those with working mothers were more likely to be obese or overweight by the age of 3.

So, let me get this straight: The new study “discovered” that the same kids who were likely to be obese or overweight by the age of 3 were also less likely to lead healthy lives at age 5? And that it’s all mom’s fault for working outside the home?

Sorry, BBC and ICH. I’m calling foul on this one.

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I was working from home, playing “beat the clock” with my to-do list, doggedly trying to get as much done as possible before I had to pick my youngest kids up from school and take them to karate. With my connection to my office up in one window, a layout program up in another, iTunes loaded in the background, and Firefox humming with five or six tabs open at the same time, my shiny, blessed laptop suddenly displayed the whirling rainbow circle — the Mac equivalent of a PC’s hourglass. And it would not go away.
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If you’re not happy right now, take heart: You’re not alone.

According to the newest data from the United States General Social Survey, women today are less happy then they were back in 1972. Moreover, the survey found, women today become increasingly unhappy as they age compared to men, whose happiness levels trended upward as they got older.

It would be easy to dismiss it as another All-Is-Crap-With-The-Economy statistic if not for the fact that the General Social Survey has been asking the same question — “How happy are you, on a scale of 1 to 3, with 3 being very happy, and 1 being not too happy?”– to 1,500 men and women, of all ages, income levels, educational backgrounds, and marital statuses since 1972. And that the survey’s findings jibe with the results of six other major, long-term happiness studies around the world — more than 1.3 million men and women surveyed over the last 40 years, and in every study, the greater the opportunities women have the less happy they are over time, as compared to men.

But you know what? I think you have to choose to be happy. And that being able to consider personal happiness is a privilege afforded to those for whom the basic necessities — food, clothing, shelter — aren’t an issue. And that surveys, even ones as broad and as far-reaching as these, are still full of holes.
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I have a thing for inspirational quotes. It started back when I was in high school, I think — in the yearbook, seniors each got an entire page to do with as they liked, and it was traditional to include at least one, usually several, quotes. So I started collecting them in a little fabric-covered book, which I still have. I filled that book, started a second one, and then just kept jotting them down on random post-it notes and scraps of paper. Eventually, when I got an email address in the 1990s, I started collecting them in a folder online.

I came upon a stash of those little scraps of paper while trying to declutter my house, and all decluttering ground to a halt while I re-read these snippets of inspiration. Some are long, like The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann (which begins “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence” and offers up wisdom in every line), but others are short and sweet.
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West Indian Girl singer Mariqueen Maandig is giving up her gig to marry Nine Inch Nails front man Trent Reznor, her bandmates declared in August. WWE announcer Lilian Garcia announced her retirement Monday after 10 years with the WWE Divas, trading the wrestling ring for a wedding ring. And over at the StarTribune.com, a reader tells columnist Carolyn Hax to put marriage before career because “it really wasn’t worth all the sacrifices.”

Which made me wonder: If you couldn’t have both — and if finances weren’t an issue — which one would you choose?

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I went in to work crazy-early yesterday, so that I could leave crazy-early and meet up with an old friend whom I hadn’t seen in far too long. A coworker stopped by my desk as I was packing up, and so I explained what was going on.

She gasped. “You’re… actually doing something FOR YOURSELF?”

I immediately felt a little guilty. And sheepish. Until I looked her in the eye and saw that she was actually cheering me on.
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Forbes magazine has figured out the best cities for working moms, and the results are surprising.

New York City – also known as the most expensive city in the country, where $60,000 buys you about as much as a $26,000 annual salary in Atlanta — comes out on top, followed by Austin, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Milwaukee, and Portland, Oregon.

I’m a little confused. What do those five cities have in common, and what makes them great for working moms in particular? A high concentration of moms who work outside of the home? Family-friendly companies? Spectacular, affordable childcare? Jobs with flexible hours?

Don’t know. Forbes didn’t focus on those things.
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Once upon a time, I had an actual home office. It had a desk and file cabinets and a door that closed, and I shared the space with my husband, whose stuff took up the far side of the room but left me with plenty of space to spread out.
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When it comes to earning a salary, the gender gap is old news. An article in Business Week says that, according to a recent study, the new inequality is the difference in pay between working women who are mothers and those who aren’t.

It’s easy to focus on the paycheck — mothers were offered an average of $11,000 less in starting salary than non-mothers, the study found — but working moms often aren’t only struggling for equal pay, they’re often struggling for equal respect as well. And that may be even more difficult to come by.
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