Not long ago I wrote about how toddlers are a great example for us because they’re constantly living in the present. I meant it when I wrote it and I still believe that we’re more at peace when we’re attending to what’s right in front of us, but…

I gotta tell you, I struggle with this.

I mean, what does it mean exactly anyway? And how do we apply the whole “being in the moment” thing when there’s laundry to fold and homework to check and toys to pick up and a deadline to meet and what am I going to make for dinner anyway and OMG did the cat throw up again?

In his book The Power of Now Eckhart Tolle uses the term “surrender”, saying:

Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the
flow of life. The only place where you can experience the flow of life is the Now, so
to surrender is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation.

Okay. “Accepting the present moment unconditionally”. But how?

I read a few years ago about a practice used by the Amish, that they focus on each simple moment of the day and feel gratitude for it. I used this concept for awhile, trying to find gratitude in setting the table for dinner, for instance, reveling in the shapes made by the billowing tablecloth as I shook it over the table, covering the smooth dark wood of my dining table.

The Amish concept of demut, or humility, sort of explains this: Demut is the concept of submission, humility, or, “letting be.” It is often considered the spirit of giving up one’s will, or accepting divine will. In addition, Demut gives the sense of “allowing,” and calm.

But I have a crazy-active mind that never shuts up. I can be grateful for vacuuming, for the sound the crumb-chunks make as they are sucked up off the carpet into the machine, and for the neat carpet-tracks made by the repetitive back-and-forth motion of the vacuum and my right arm, for maybe 3 minutes. And then someone is yelling because her brother took one of her pretzels or someone else’s diaper came loose inside his sleeper and it’s balled up, soaking wet, underneath his right foot.

Life intercedes.

And then I start looking for new ways to be in the moment.

Another spiritual practice that comes to mind is the Buddhist meditation technique called Vipassana. Through observing the self in every action, simply noticing, the idea is to bring full awareness of the mind, body and all sensations and be fully present. This is done in various ways including a very mindful walking meditation, being acutely aware of each step and how it flows into the next as the weight of your body shifts, for example. Every moment is under observation, accompanied by an inner dialog.

I actually did this for awhile as a method to attempt to quiet my mind and the constant inner parade of voices and thoughts. I found myself chanting, “I’m brushing my teeth, I’m brushing my teeth,” and feeling like an idiot. I kept wanting to judge myself for feeling silly about repeating “I’m brushing my teeth” for three minutes, and I kept wondering when I was ever going to be able to make plans and get anything accomplished (I am a constant planner who thrives on feeling I have accomplished something) if I was always repeating my instant action inside my head.

So I gave that up.

But going back to the walking meditation of Vipassana, isn’t that exactly what toddlers do? The thing they do that drives us crazy when they do it on the way to the car and we have to go somewhere and we’re already late?

I’m envious that my toddler is totally okay with doing this, while I am anxiously and impatiently tapping my foot and thinking ahead to all the things I’m going to have to juggle around if we get any later because there simply won’t be enough time if he insists on stopping to pick up that rock among the hundreds of nearly-identical rocks next to the sidewalk and we’re not even close to the car yet and he still has to climb into his car seat (in slow motion), get buckled, arrange his container of apple slices that he insisted on having after his shoes were already on and we were halfway out the door already.

I so want to live in the moment, but I’m afraid I just don’t have time.

How do you make it work?  Or how have you come to a place of peace with NOT being in the moment?