People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” was announced this week. Mr. Johnny Depp won the top spot (for the second time), in case you don’t feel like clicking the link.

What on Earth does this have to do with a marriage column? Oh, let me tell you.

I may be dating myself but do you remember that Friends episode where Ross and Rachel have their “lists” of celebrities that they would be allowed to, um, engage with should they ever meet them? Isabella Rosselini walks into the cafe and Ross is flummoxed because he had removed her from his list?

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I stumbled across an article over at MSN.com titled, “Four Secrets To Having A Spectacular Marriage.” I agree with the four points mentioned and I have to say that my favorite one is the one titled, “Take 10.”

The premise of that point is that you should take ten minutes out of each day (A mere ten minutes) to talk about anything, except for kids, responsibilities, or chores, etc. Weekly date nights are often recommended by myself and by others but sometimes it is just not feasible to go out that often, especially if you have kids and need to line up babysitters. We end up going out every two to three weeks, to be totally honest.

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I ran across this post over at The Frisky titled, “20 Things You Should Never Do Without Consulting Your Significant Other” and I had to laugh at some of the suggestions. They’re funny because they’re true. Here are a few of my favorites:

Seeing other people
Investing your joint savings in a combination fried chicken and sushi restaurant
Erasing everything off the DVR
Buying a house or new car, especially if it’s a Hummer
Adopting a puppy/kitten/ferret
Moving to a different city

Ha!

I thought I’d add a few of my own:

Get pregnant
Join the armed forces
Invite your parents to live in your basement suite

Do you have any that you’d like to add?

It is all too easy to think of items to complain about when it comes to your spouse. The pile of clothes on the floor instead of in the closet, the bathrooms that seem to be waiting for the cleaning fairy to appear, the vacuum that sits lonely in the corner waiting for a chance to dance around the room.

(These are my flaws, for the record. My husband has his own but we’ll save that for another day.)

I thought it might be fun to reflect on the characteristics your spouse has that are endearing. Not “they great things they do” or “how great they treat you” but the personality characteristics that make you grin from the inside out because they’re just so darn cute. You know, like when he’ll sit and have a tea party with our daughter, complete with a tiara on his head.

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Having three children myself, I can testify that having them around kicks the busy-ness of life to a whole other level. In addition to activities and commitments that my husband and I have, we have three little beings who need to be shuttled to school, swimming, dance class, etc.

Many articles and studies seem to point towards children being detrimental to your marriage. I can see how it could be the case; having uninterrupted conversations with my husband generally have to wait until the kids are all in bed or we’re out on a Date Night.

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I don’t have a long dating history from before I met my husband. It’s not that I didn’t date, but I was one of those girls who went for relationships of the long-term variety. For the most part.

I spent over two years dating someone during my senior high years who was three years older than me. “Dating” seems like such a trivial word, considering that I had a promise ring. Do you remember those? Seventeen-year-old me wore it with pride. It now rattles around in the bottom of my jewelry box.

The next serious relationship I had was with a guy who was five years older than me. Five years older than me.  I come from a small town and, well, it seemed that the older guys were always the ones who my friends and I dated. They were so “mature.” I put that in quotes because in hindsight it is nothing but hilarious.

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MSN.com posted an article that was originally in Oprah’s “O” magazine, written by Rita Wilson (wife of one Tom Hanks, in case you were not aware). In the article she talks about a time when they were riding in the car the her parents and the question, “Would you marry the same person again?” came up. One of her parents threw out a “Not me!”

It’s a good article that got me thinking. We’re coming up on our ten year anniversary and the question “If you knew at 25 what you know today about your spouse, would you still marry the same person?” made me think I should address it.

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Anyone who is a regular reader of my personal site or is a Twitter friend knows that my husband is far better at housework than I am. I am not a slob by any right; he is just a guy who hates a dirty floor or any sort of clutter. In our nine years of marriage I have probably washed the floor, oh, five times. That’s not a typo. He is rather particular about the state of our floors (he gets it from his Mom) and will attack them before I even think they need to be dealt with.

The Wall Street Journal had an article this past week titled, “Housework Pays Off Between The Sheets.”
The gist of the article is, “The more housework you do, the more often you are likely to have sex with your spouse.”

I don’t know that I entirely agree. Or agree at all.

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The Washington Street Journal had an article this week titled, “Why We Lie To Our Spouses.” The article gives examples of lies that women tell their husbands (dress sizes, the cost of new clothing purchases, how much T.V. they watch, etc.) and examples of the kind of lies the husbands tell (how fast they drive, if they find female friends attractive, etc.)

As a good church-attending woman I should be able to sit here and tell you that I don’t lie to my husband (or my kids for that matter). To state that I never lie to my husband would be, well, a lie.

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Lisa Belkin over at the New York Times parenting blog Motherlode published a post this weekend titled, “Miss, Mrs. or Ms.?” In her post, she quotes an article in Time magazine which includes an essay by Nancy Gibbs in which she discusses her name.

Nancy talks about how she uses different names depending on the situation. She usually goes by her maiden name, but will sometimes use her husband’s name. As for the Miss/Mrs./Ms. question, she says, “All these identities are me: Ms. when I’m out slaying dragons, Mrs. when I’m in the company of those I love most, Miss when I want to stay home under the covers and daydream.”

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