with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
Before I was married I had a lot of male friends. I have always gotten along easily with people of the male persuasion. They are (generally) more laid back, uncomplicated and for lack of a better word simple. Women…can sometimes be the exact opposite. Not always, but sometimes. You know exactly what (or who?) I am talking about.
When my husband and I got serious, I let my guy friends slide. We would hang out with them as a couple, but going out for coffee or to a movie with one of them all of a sudden became a foreign concept. The main reason was that I wanted to spend every spare moment with my love and none other. The other reason being that I did not want to give more emotional parts of my heart to someone other than my main man.
This topic occasionally comes up with married friends of mine and they all agree that the best way to guard your heart (and your marriage) is to keep your relationships with men (and for the husbands, women) on a surface level. I would consider my friends’ husbands friends of mine as well, but I am not about to meet up with them for coffee or go out for dinner. That would be weird.
If I run into a guy I know it is not like I avert my eyes or, better yet, run away screaming, “I can’t talk to you! You’re a MAN!” I am friendly, I make small talk, I wish them a great day. I am just not about to build deep relationships with men other than my husband. I don’t want to walk a fine line that can so easily be crossed.
An acquaintance of mine experienced the consequences of that line being crossed last year. Her husband had made a new friend that he started spending more time with. Soon she was his “best friend”. Now she is his new wife.
My husband and I both agree that we have a wonderful thing here. Why would we ever want to risk it? We also think each other are kind of neat, and are each others best friends. There is no room in our lives for someone of the opposite sex to compete for that position. If I was pouring my heart out to another man I can not see how on Earth that would honor my husband, support my marriage, or benefit my family as a whole.
I know that some people are able to have friends of the opposite sex and it appears to not be an issue. It might very well work for them. It is just not an option for me.
How about you? Are you like me and guarded with your heart? Or are you able to be close friends with members of the opposite sex without jeopardizing your marriage relationship?
Subscribe to blog via RSS