Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
This past weekend was American Thanksgiving (Obviously). While it was not a national holiday here in Canada, it was a weekend where my husband’s parents came to visit.
I have read many an entertaining post about the chaos! And the drama! And the crazy MOTHER-IN-LAW!
I can totally relate.
Only my Mother-In-Law openly jokes about being crazy, so the drama is kept to a minimum.
My husband’s parents had three kids in the span of three years. In addition to being close in age, the three of them are close friends. They then got married one after the other (Three weddings in three years) and between the three couples there were eight babies born in the span of four years.
Family get-togethers are busy, hectic and LOUD, but for the most part are drama-free. There have been bumps along the road, as in any relationship, but nothing too crazy or off the wall.
I actually kind of like them. Most of the time.
How about you? Do you have In-Laws or do you refer to them as OUTLAWS?
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I don’t refer to them as the outlaws, I refer to them as “them.” My MIL in all seriousness drew her finger through dust on my stove… In other words, she literally white gloved my house. Wouldn’t you know that it was the one place I missed in the “OMG THEY’RE COMING” cleaning. On the other hand, my husband gets along famously with my parents, so there’s that.
Michele | December 2nd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I have in-laws, not outlaws. I like my mother-in-law, and the more I get to know her, the more I *get* her…and the more I *get* why my husband has certain quirks.
I’ll admit, though, that it wasn’t easy at first. It took work and prayer; it still does! But God is good.
Krista | December 2nd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
We have a strained and quietly civil relationship - have for 10 years now. I kind of hate that we’re not better as a family, but boy, they don’t give me a break:)
Nataly | December 2nd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I have very good in-laws whose policy has always been not to interfere in the families of their children. They offer advice only when asked and love us all unconditionally.
My sister has the mother in law from HELL. Seriously. She is psycho. I feel sorry for her.
Robyn | December 2nd, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I do not have in-laws yet… but I hope to marry the boy I’m with now. I love his family! We have vacationed together- twice… seems strange but they are so easy to love.
K | December 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Mine are definitely in-laws, but I call them out-laws (to their faces). If I had gone shopping for in-laws, I would have picked the ones I’ve got. They are generous, loving, full of great advice (and only give it when asked), and my MIL is the best cook I have ever met. Dinners there make me drool during the prayer.
That’s crazy that Matthew and his siblings did things so close together. My (and Noah’s) families are way more spread apart - Kaylie probably won’t get a cousin in my husband’s side until she’s at least 10!
Mrs. Wilson | December 2nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I am very blessed to have WONDERFUL in-laws. Rob’s parents, brothers and sister are the most amazing people EVER, and I can honestly say that I get along brilliantly with all of them. Our family get-togethers are loud & busy, mostly due to the 8 children between the ages of 0-10, but they are also awesome. And I love every minute of it.
I’m not sure how I would cope if my in-laws were like some of the ones I have read about. It would be so hard!
Hannah | December 2nd, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I have OUTLAWS. My Thanksgiving consisted of a 40 year old skeleton in the closet-wait for it…Who has the same first name as my husband. We joke and say it was a Jerry Springer Thanksgiving.
Vicky | December 2nd, 2008 at 5:20 pm
My MIL has been married and divorced three times, has three children by the three men, but NOT in the order she was married to them. She’s filed bankruptcy (but not until after Christmas, because she LIKES spending money at Christmas, and was worried she wouldn’t be able to get another credit card right away) and defaulted on at least one home loan. None of this, by the way, is her fault, of course. The world has always done her wrong.
Being with her is exhausting for me, stressful for my husband and consequently bad for our marriage.
She talks all the time about how much she LOVES her kids and ADORES her grandkids, but we only ever hear from here when she’s got something to bitch about or she wants something. My youngest is almost 3 and she’s still regularly addressing gifts to him by the wrong name.
I try, very hard, to keep a positive attitude about her when she’s around, but oh, does it ever wear me out to do so.
Jan | December 2nd, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I’m sad to say I have outlaws. There are steps, and her’s, and his’s. Old wounds still oozing and fresh ones too.
It’s a lot more fun to hang out with my family. Crazy, but functional (most of the time).
mommyknows | December 3rd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I have mostly in-laws and one outlaw. Most of my in-laws are normal people - cordial and polite and friendly. But the outlaw the evil older SIL and a very horrible person. She purposely hurts my husband, my son (by calling him ugly), and me. She is mean, hurtful, insulting, and a bully. I would describe her as a bully because bullies are the ones who purposely say hurtful things to someone else. She’s gotten a bit better but I refuse to take my son to my in-laws’ house because she lives there and I will not put my son in the position of being verbally attacked by the evil older SIL.
This evil older SIL makes me hate dinners with my in-laws because I never know if she’ll show up or not. The uncertainty makes me physically uncomfortable. Most of the time she shows up. I wish she would drop off the face of the Earth but she won’t.
Linda | December 3rd, 2008 at 7:33 pm
My MIL is a in- laws but the rest on my husbands side is mostly outlaws.
They still treat me like I doesn’t even exist., try to come stay with us uninvited-just want to pop up. His one sister…still tries to boss him around, and wants to act like their kids still ( their in their 40’s) They have not been the most welcoming family at all. And lets not talk about my SD.
My MIL when she came and stayed with us for a few weeks- took pictures of my house to show all the relatives when she went back home.
They all think we have more than they do as we work and take care of what we have. I gave her my housecoat ( she had forgotten hers) and a pair of shoes I just had bought…she handed them out when she got back home…I would have kept them If I had known that. Interesting people…..
eileen | December 5th, 2008 at 6:00 pm