Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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One of my favorite bloggers (and people; I spent time with her at BlogHer last year) is the ever-lovely Kyran Pittman. She blogs at Notes To Self and is one of the editors over at Good Housekeeping.
This past week, one of Kyran’s posts made it onto MSN.com and it was a good read: “Keeping Your Marriage Thick In Thin Times“.
I thoroughly enjoyed the article and it caused me to think about the strain that finances can place on a marriage. We are feeling the financial pinch in our house as well. My husband’s industry (lumber) is in the pooper and I am taking on more accounting work to cover the divide. We’re keeping a closer eye on what we spend and talking more about the smaller purchases as well.
Is the economy affecting your marriage for better or for worse? How are you working through it all?
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Right out of college, I worked as a legal assistant for a family law attorney. Hands down, the majority of the cases, couples divorced over financial problems. That really brings out the worst in people.
LVGurl | February 27th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
My husband got a promotion and we were moved to a new city as a result. Two mortgage payments and two weeks before Christmas, they fired him due to the economic down turn. The only reason we aren’t fighting is because we have had a contingency plan ever since we started working. We can stay in our house, living like we have been with him not working for two years. We both think it’s important to talk about money and have common goals in that area. We are incredibly blessed and we know that a lot of people have worse problems than us. I am thankful for our health and family despite this turbulent time. I think I’ll miss him once he does get a job again…
Carolyn | February 27th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
I had been pursuing a job opportunity that would mean a significant pay cut but also a lot less stress and a much shorter commute. And then my husband lost his job. The crappy economy means that I have to keep my super-stressful job in order to keep our family stable. I was disappointed at first but I’ve made my peace with it. Keeping my job (and salary) means less stress on my husband and it makes me feel good to know that I’m supporting him through this tough time. And when his job situation becomes stable I know that he will support me in my search for less-stressful employment
hillary | February 27th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
We pretty much discuss everything with finances. But that is because finances about killed our marriage 5 years ago.
Domestic Extraordinaire | February 27th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
It’s affecting us as a family, financially, but it is in no way affecting our marriage. We tend to cling to one another when we face problems - I’m SO thankful for that!
ps. the recessions SUCKS
Mrs. Wilson | February 27th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
We are feeling the pinch, although not as badly as some. Things are hard and uncertain, but our marriage is strong enough to endure it. We have been through some VERY hard situations together, and our faith is strong.
My Dad just got made redundant 2 days ago though. He and my Mum have a very strong marriage that has weathered similar storms. Their love and faith is strong and they will support each other through this hard time, along with prayers from others.
Hannah | February 28th, 2009 at 1:01 am
Because we are both lawyers, throughout our (two and a half year) marriage, we have been financially well-off. Especially for people our ages (presently 28 and 30). Lawyers ARE being laid off. It will be interesting to see what happens if suddenly we have to fight about money, because right now it’s not a big concern for us because we don’t have to be super mindful about it.
slynnro | February 28th, 2009 at 2:25 am
We really haven’t discussed it, but, I am a natural bargain hunter.
Charity | February 28th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
this is a really good topic. certainly affects many. I am starting a business in this turmoil. Crazy? Yes. but considering so many businesses closing down, it’ s making space for new business like my own. So I am optimistic as my husband continues to work more hours. Certainly not easy. Occasional arguments. But the most important thing is to hold on to your vision and keep going.
vera babayeva | February 28th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
oh and take a deep breath in between arguments and making it a point to not give up.
vera babayeva | February 28th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
My husband lost his job in October, and believe it or not, this has made our marriage stronger. It’s very strange. He was INCREDIBLY stressed after he lost his job (and didn’t let me know), but found a way to grow closer to men in our church and find strength in them. He has started a new business (no salary yet) and really LOVES what he does now. He is so much more open with me now, and I am so much more thankful for him.
It has taken some adjustment for me to get used to the fact that I am the “major breadwinner” in our family. I’ve always worked because I loved what I do…now I work because I have to. I’m just very thankful that we had my salary to fall back on.
Karla E | March 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 am