with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
I came across an interesting article titled, “Big spenders tend to marry big savers, researchers find.” In the article there was the following quote:
“They found that people who generally spend less than they would ideally like to spend, and those who spend more than they would like to tend to marry each other.”
I found this point quite interesting.
It’s hot where I live. “How hot is it?” the crowd asks. It’s been 38C/98F which a whole lot hotter than any human being (without air conditioning) should be subjected to. We are spending our days at the lake/in the pool in an attempt to keep ourselves from melting into a puddle of goo.
While looking for a relationship topic to cover for todays post, I came across an article on MSN.com titled, “Hot Weather Couple Meltdowns.” Considering that I spent the bulk of my afternoon working in a tank top and my underwear while sitting in front of a swamp cooler (I am nothing if not classy), the title of the article pulled me in.
Movies and romance novels will have you believe that Love Conquers All. If you meet your “Soul Mate” you will hear birds singing and rainbows will appear in the sky. You will hold hands and walk off into the sunset, destined to live happily ever after.
The reality is never quite the fairy tale that it is made out to be, regardless of how compatible you are.
A quote that was said to me back when I was a teenager has stuck with me ever since. I don’t think that the truth of it will ever fade:
Love is not just a feeling; it is a commitment.
I was sent the link to an article titled, “Love Not Enough To Make Marriage Work.”
Factors that affect marriage include age, children, finances and a host of other items. That feeling of love is simply not enough to make a marriage last. Or so the case seems to be.
I don’t know if I have mentioned it on this site before, but the first time that I had sex with my husband was…on our wedding night. Call me naive or old-school or archaic or whatnot, but we both share a faith that encourages you to wait until you are married in order to engage in “relations.”
Thanks to a quick run to the drugstore by a good friend of mine on the morning of my wedding to procure, um, a certain substance, our wedding night was pretty fantastic. As have been every marital encounter since then.
I read an article over at Divine Caroline with the title, “Why Passive Aggressive Behavior is Okay, Sometimes.”
The author stated that people would probably disagree with her theory, and when I read this quote: “I am not suggesting that passive aggression is a goal or destination, but rather a resting place where we can think and reflect.” I DISAGREED. Really LOUDLY. IN MY HEAD, but still.
I am a communicator. I like to talk, yes, (just try and shut me up) but I also like to communicate. If there is an issue, let’s discuss it, work through it, and move on.
My husband, however, is passive aggressive. He fully admits to it. I can tell when something is wrong and I will ask him twenty times over to communicate with me already. He will respond with the standard, “I’m fine.”
But he is NOT fine. And I am not fine, because I have that nauseous “something’s wrong” feeling in my stomach which could easily be resolved if we coud just hash it out already.
I stumbled across an article over at The Frisky titled: 20 Things Every Woman Should Do Before She Gets Married.
While my inner prude made me balk at a few of the suggestions (Have sex with at least one person she’d never want to marry (or introduce to mom)) (Really? This will help your future marriage HOW, exactly?), there are a lot of valid points in the list.
A few of my favorites:
I was scanning across the articles over at Yahoo+Shine and one title caught my attention: Does Marriage Make You Fat?
According to the statistics in the article, it is not only married people who pack on the pounds; it appears that those living common-law often start gaining weight once they start cohabitating.
The article mentions a few reasons that this happens: meal time becomes more of a priority for couples living together, working out becomes less of a priority after living together. Then there is my personal favorite: some people just let themselves go.
If you follow my personal site, you know that my kids have gone to Grandma’s house this week. My Step mom called a few weeks ago and said that she wanted the kids to come and visit. I told her that we had planned to come to see her as a family, but she quickly clarified her request. She wanted the kids to come to her house for a visit. Without my husband and I.
We have never had this happen before. We went to Mexico a year ago February and left the kids with family, but apart from that our kid-free time consists of Date Nights out on the town.
We were visiting with friends this week and the topic of having a TV in your bedroom came up. Our friends have a television in their room and will often turn it on at the end of the day. The husband is more of a night owl and will stay up watching late night TV while his wife drifts off to sleep. It works for them.
My husband and I don’t have a TV in our bedroom. We are not opposed to it, but have just never seen the need for it. It’s just as easy to cuddle on the couch to watch the boob tube as it is to watch it in our room.
I once had a coworker that having a TV in her bedroom was one of the reason that her marriage came to an end. She and her husband had gotten into the habit of watching shows rather than talking and, well, you know.
How about you? Do you have a TV in your bedroom?
