Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
I came across an interesting article titled, “Big spenders tend to marry big savers, researchers find.” In the article there was the following quote:
“They found that people who generally spend less than they would ideally like to spend, and those who spend more than they would like to tend to marry each other.”
I found this point quite interesting.
My husband and I are both pretty frugal beings. We are both the eldest child in our respective families and are the stereotypical “responsible” ones. This, of course, overflows into all areas of our lives, including our finances.
While there are moments when his extreme frugality drives me a little batty (Like last week when he bought the wrong brand of margarine because it was a whopping TWO DOLLARS CHEAPER), for the most part we are on the same page when to comes to our finances. We both live within our means, pay our bills every month and save for the future.
I know that other couples are further apart in their spending habits that we are. So much so that it causes a lot of grief and frustration. And more than a few battles.
How about you? Are you and your spouse different when it comes to your spending habits?
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Oh gosh, yes. He’s a spender, I’m not. The good news is that he freely admits that he spends too much money, so he has no problem with me reining him in from time to time. He told me a few months ago that if he weren’t married to me, his credit would probably be completely ruined by now.
For the most part, it doesn’t cause too many problems. We each get an allowance of fun money, and we discuss large purchases before making them. Usually the issue is that he wants to buy something right now, and I want to wait until we can buy it without depleting the savings account.
I will admit, however, that I’m currently harboring some resentment - he has taken up a hobby that has cost about $850 over the past six months, and I’ve done nothing but study my eyeballs out for the past six months. I think that I should get $850 to spend on whatever I want now - but I can’t make my frugal self spend that much money on anything.
Teri | July 31st, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Rob and I are both pretty careful, although he is a bit more frugal than me. He sounds like Matthew with the margarine thing!! But he’s learned over the past 10 years that sometimes it does NOT pay to choose the cheapest option - because I have brands that I like!
Hannah | July 31st, 2009 at 7:21 pm
We’re spending opposites. When we are given money that is JUST ours (birthday, Christmas, etc), mine is gone in a day. He’ll still have his in his wallet 6 months later. Drives me nuts.
We’re both pretty good at staying on budget, but I can spend more easily than he can
Mrs. Wilson | July 31st, 2009 at 10:44 pm
I’m the only one that tries to say…he is really…no really good at spending everything he has in his pockets. So I do always try to make sure all the bills are paid and money is put aside for the grocery store, needs, etc. One of the down sides right now…everyone else wants gets push to the back of “maybe one day” but he always has money to spend on himself.
Without me …he would have no credit and nothing put aside for bills. Their has to be at least one saver in the family….and they don’t always have a easy job. lol
Eileen | August 2nd, 2009 at 11:25 am
We are total opposites. He’s a frugal saver, I like my electronic toys and gourmet meals.
Oana | August 2nd, 2009 at 9:51 pm
I am the spender, he is the saver. I do save for the future, we do save together, but I know my spending habits and because of that we do have separate accounts and I did not want my name on our home equity loan. Would I ever spend it stupidly, I’d like to think not, but I trust my hubby wholeheartedly and don’t necessarily trust myself as much.
I take after my father…I spend on books and hobbies (stamps for making cards).
Amanda | August 2nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
We are not total opposites, however is more frugal. He is always mindful of how much he is spending, except for food. I get carried away easily.
Lakshmi | August 4th, 2009 at 8:52 am
My ex & I were both spenders but in opposite ways (though it was not the breakup factor actually).
He will spend like crazy on electronic gadgets, I like to spend on dining out. He would rather live in a small apartment crammed with knicknacks, I like more open space and have to be coaxed to put up a shelf for collectibles.
Now of course the fight is that his gadgets have to take second place to his child support; it is a concept he has yet to actually understand.
Mich | August 4th, 2009 at 3:28 pm