Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
I stumbled across a post over at Divine Caroline titled, “What’s the Best Age to Say “I Do”?”
When my husband and I got married, I was twenty-five and he was twenty-three. Yes, I “robbed the cradle” or whatever the kids nowadays call it. The funniest part is that because I skipped a grade, when I was in twelfth grade…he was in ninth grade.
EW.
Age difference aside, when we met and started dating we knew that we were meant to be married. One month after we started dating, we were engaged. Five months later, we were married. Because we knew, you know?
If we had been mere teenagers then I could see a reason for us to wait. As it was, were were in our mid (and nearing mid) twenties. We’re coming up on ten years, so there you go.
How old were you when you got married?
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I was just barely 21 and my husband was 27
Eric's Mommy | August 28th, 2009 at 9:13 am
I was 24, and Torsten was 30. We’d been together for just over two years when we got married. Some people seemed to think that I was rushing into things or that I was too young to get married. I think that circumstances are different for different people (shocking, I know). Maybe some 24-year-olds aren’t ready for marriage; I was. Maybe two years is too fast for some people; for us, it was just right.
Jess | August 28th, 2009 at 10:53 am
25 (me) and 31 (him).
Oana | August 28th, 2009 at 11:18 am
I was just shy of 23 and he was 28 and we had been together for 20 months. If you had asked me the day before we met about what age I think is good for marriage I would have stated firmly that I didn’t think anyone should get married before 30. But within a few weeks we both knew we would get married and *almost* eloped 10 months later (but 1-we were on an island in BC with no place to get a marriage liscence and 2- I knew my family would KILL me). So instead we moved in together and the following year went back to that island in BC with some family members and got hitched. That was a little over 9 years ago.
But I still beleive that MOST people should wait until they are 25. I’m a total hypocrite, I know.
kakaty | August 28th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Not married, but I’m 23 (will be 24 in a month) and he’s 32. We know (I totally agree about when you know, you know) we are going to be together forever and I would say it would probably happen around 26 and 34 for him. Then babies. Lots of em. Ha!
Shelly | August 28th, 2009 at 11:30 am
I was 25 and he was 30 and it was just right for us. My younger sister got married when she was 20, which was the right age for her (in her opinion.) My older sister is 29 and is not married, which is right for her. Everyone is different, which is why posts like the one you linked to tend to make me a bit stabby.
hillary | August 28th, 2009 at 11:48 am
I’m the old maid so far
I was 29, my husband was 37. When I went to the social security office to change my name the clerk actually said “WOW! You got in right under the wire!” Meaning I’d gotten married just before I turned 30. Classy, huh?!
We had been friends for about 5 years, together for 2 when we got engaged, a bit over 3 by the time we got married.
There’s really no magic age, but for us I think being older gave us a lot of perspective and experience to draw on. We were very, very sure. For romantic reasons and also for less romantic, more sensible reasons.
HollyLynne | August 28th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I waas 25.. and my hubby was 28.. and i think age was.. it was just perfect for us. We both had completed all our studies, were settled career wise (kinda sorta) and most importantly.. we both were mentally prepared to get married.
For the time, i think my mom would have preferred me getting married 2-3 years before (@ 21, 22).. and dad till date maintains i had a child marriage = he thinks i got married way too soon. {But i know, thats just him not wanting to see his little girl grow up}
There is no perfect time.. i think, when you and the other person is ready .. take the plunge. Having said that. 18 is way too young!
GNSD | August 28th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
We were both 22. I also “robbed the cradle”, but only by 2 moths and 11 days.
Mrs. Wilson | August 28th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
I was 19 and he was 20. At that time, you think you are so old, so wise, know what the heck you are talking about. When I see 19 year olds now I always think “WHY THE HECK WAS I ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED SO YOUNG!?!!?”
Luckily, we are celebrating seven years soon and are going strong and happy as can be. We had been together for about 5 years which felt like forever.
But like you said before, when you know, you know. And we knew. And we continue to know.
Jen | August 28th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I had just turned 21, and Rob was almost 26. Funnily enough, I just wrote a post about this over at my blog
I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” age to get married. Some 35-year-olds are too immature for marriage, in my opinion. It’s a personal thing. 21 was definitely the right age for me
Hannah | August 28th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Is there a right age? I don’t think so.
When we tie the knot, I’ll be 27. In California, that’s practically a baby.
Where I’m from in the South (and am currently visiting), I should practically be on my second marriage with a couple of rugrats in tow.
However, 27 is when I’ll be marrying the love of my life, so I’d say it’s juuuuust riiiiight.
Camels & Chocolate | August 28th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I was 22 when we got married. Corey and I spoke the first time via telephone and he says he “knew” that he was going to marry me then…we were engaged 2 weeks after we met (officially a month later because my ring took forever to be ready) and 7 month later we were married. It worked for us, God put us together
Ashley | August 28th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I was barely 26. I feel like that was damn young. I don’t regret it, but I would have never expected I marry that young.
slynnro | August 28th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
I say, if you have to ask, then you’re not old enough.
Seriously…
LARRAH | August 29th, 2009 at 5:05 am
My husband and I were 28. I find the question a little silly. While there may be an ‘ideal age’ I think there are two things that are so much more important. First, you need to find the right person. Who cares if you are the ‘right age’ if you haven’t met someone with whom you can be yourself, enjoy yourself and support each other. Second, you have to be mature enough to work at it and realize that it isn’t always easy. That age can really vary by person.
Stacey S | August 31st, 2009 at 7:24 am
I was 22 and husband was 26; we think it worked well for us. It gave us enough time to build our basics together before having kids.
Lakshmi | August 31st, 2009 at 12:17 pm
The right age is when you meet the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. I met him when I was 30 and I was married when I was 35. Oh, and he was 24 when we met even though I didn’t know it. Everything works differently for each couple.
Heather | August 31st, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I think its more of a question of “at what age will YOU be right for marriage”. I was 26, husband was just shy of 25 when we were married (we had known each other for YEARS prior to dating for two years and being engaged for a year) There were a lot of things in my life that I did and accomplished prior, and I wouldn’t change that. For the area in which I grew up? I was pretty much a spinster.
CV | September 2nd, 2009 at 9:57 am
There is no right age. It’s when you find the right person and are ready for the responsibility and committment.
I just turned 26 and my husband was almost 39 when we got married.
wifenmom | September 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
I met my husband when we were both 18 then 6 months later when we were both turned 19 we got married on aug 29th and we have been happily married now for 8 years
serena | September 5th, 2009 at 8:59 pm