I ran across an article over at Yahoo! Shine titled, “What’s the WORST relationship advice you’ve ever received and who did it come from?” Before I even read the article a few pieces of advice came to mind that were given to me repeatedly when I was single but did not hold true for me.

The first piece of advice that popped into my head was, “Date for at least a year before you get married.” I’ve mentioned it a few times over here, but we started dating in November, got engaged a month later and then got married the next May. We’re in our tenth year, so I think we proved that one wrong.

The other piece of advice was from my single days, when people would tell you that guys always had to make the first move. I bought into it because, yes, I was worth being pursued. I still believe that to be true but you have to take the nature of the dude into account before you make a sweeping decision to never make the first move.

My husband and I met at rather large church and had chatted casually a few times. One Sunday he arrived with his sister (whom I had never met) and they ended up sitting next to me. There was a little flirting (in his understated and shy way), in which he mentioned that he was was baking some cookies that afternoon (I KNOW), I had asked him he shared his baking and…his sister interrupted and said she was ready to go.

I was pretty sure that I was getting the, “I dig you” vibe but the moment had been broken and he was so shy that I was pretty sure that he wouldn’t try to find out my number to call me. The whole way home, “CALL HIM” ran through the head but I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.

I got home and phoned a friend of mine who had no problem whatsoever making the first move. She ordered me to call him and then call her back. I was living in Vancouver at the time which meant that the phone book would be no help. Then I remembered that he led a group at our church and his number was on the bulletin. Which was somewhere in my paper recycling bin. So, I dumped the bin, got on my hands and knees (Yes. Yes, I did) and finally found his number.

I dialed it and his answering machine came on. So, I left a message. I LEFT A MESSAGE. I was obviously an idiot with this whole “making a first move” deal. But ten minutes later, he called back. And invited me over for a lasagna that he “happened to” be making. (In the ten minutes between my message and his call he had phoned both his Mom and his sister.)

One dinner, a bunch of dates, an engagement, a wedding, three kids and nearly ten years later, I’m pretty glad that I made the first move.

What’s the worst relationship advice you were ever given?