Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
I came across an article over at The Frisky titled, “Eight So-Called Chivalrous Moves That Creep Us Out.” The title alone drew me in and I had to see what was listed as “creepy” moves by dudes who were trying to be chivalrous.
Most of them I agreed with. There is no need to tell me that you need to “tinkle” and there is no need to walk me to the restroom when I need to “tinkle.” Also. If I had ever gone on a date with someone who was willing (and able)(without cracking up) to hold my purse the dude would have been kicked to the curb. Purse and all.
A few of the points I have to disagree with. I like it when my husband pulls out the chair for me and helps we with my coat. I also like it when he opens the car door for me. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I kind of like being treated like a lady.
(Not like a lady of the night; that’s totally different.)
Do you like it when the man in your life tries to be chivalrous? Or are there “chivalrous” things that he does that creep you out?
For one, i’d like him to be ore chivalrous… but yes i like being treated like a lady.
Simple things, like lifting a heavy grocery bag for me, folding up the huge stroller, carrying the baby, the diaper bag and then the blanket just so that i could be less “weighed down”
The best one is… trying to tuck me in night.. not chivalorous… but sweet anyways!
So far, i dont think there is anythign that has creeped me out so much.
GNSD | September 18th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Even the worst guy I dated won points by opening the car door for me, etc. I too love being treated like a lady.
SKL | September 18th, 2009 at 11:55 am
I went camping once with a boyfriend and he waited like RIGHT outside the outhouse when I tried to go to the bathroom. Broke up soon after. Frickin’ weird.
Anon | September 18th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I think the idea of chivalry is dead because it implies men doing things for women. I like it when my husband opens a door for me but I consider it more a sign of respect than chivalry. And I go out of my way to do little things like that for him, too. Would I consider myself chivalrous? No, I think of it more as doing a little something extra for someone I love.
hillary | September 18th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
I so love it that Corey’s “chivalrous” moves are almost second nature for him. Opening my car door, chairs, walking on the outside when we’re on a sidewalk, putting his hand in the small of my back when we walk into a big crowd - all make me love him more. I’m no petite lady and he’s no beefcake but those small things make me feel protected and of so female.
Ashley | September 18th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I like Rob doing things like opening doors for me, pulling my chair out at a restaurant, carrying heavy shopping bags, etc. But I have to admit that when I was younger (and single) I found most of those things really irritating. I guess I felt it was all a bit “fake” when it was guys at school/Uni trying to impress me, it didn’t always feel genuine. But I know Rob is only doing those things for me now because he loves me and respects me, no strings attached … so I appreciate it.
Hannah | September 18th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Chivalry and common courtesy are two different things. Chivalry generally implies a “women are weaker and thus we must protect them” attitude whereas common courtesy is simply being polite and helpful without any strings attached. I’ve had men open doors and carry bags for me with such a belittling attitude that I took the heavy bags right back and got my own door. On the other hand, my husband is very helpful and courteous without implying that I am weaker, made of glass, or incapable.
Any set of attitudes designed to objectify or belittle a woman should be dead.
LMJN | September 22nd, 2009 at 8:53 am