Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
The length of time (or lack thereof) that people date before getting married seems to be a hot topic this week. I read a post over at Heidikins that talked about it and then read a post on Yahoo! Shine titled, “Is One Month Into Dating Too Soon To Get Hitched?”
I have mentioned our personal story before but am too (lazy, and) busy to read through the past year (WHAT?) of my posts here to link to them.
Long story short: We had our first date on November 30th. We got engaged December 30th (Same year). We got married less than five months later, on May 20th.
This coming May it will be our tenth anniversary (WHAT?) and the road has been…really quite easy. A lot of it has to do with the fact that we are inherently compatible and are able to show love to each other in the way that we each need to hear it. The rest of it is that we work hard at our relationship. We communicate, we connect (Intimately, often) and we have a lot of fun together.
I don’t think that our time line would work for every couple and I don’t think that there is an engagement period that is “perfect.”
How long did you date before getting engaged?
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We started dating November 16th. Got ‘unofficially’ engaged in February, but went through with the offical part (ring, asking parent’s permission, etc) in May and got married the following May. Granted, we worked together for 9 months before dating but I was 22 when we got engaged and 23 when we got married. People thought we were NUTS. But alas, we’re going to hit our 8th wedding anniversary and see no signs of stopping. We have a blast!
samantha jo campen | September 25th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Honestly? 3 days til engaged, then 3 months to the wedding. We’ve been married over 11 years.
Michele | September 25th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 1/2 years now, and we are having MANY discussions lately about engagement/marriage. I know that sounds like a really long time to date (esp considering our “no sex til marriage” commitment), but there’s no magic timetable to follow. Anyway, my best guess is my finger will be sporting a rock by Jan or Feb 2010.
I love the maxim “To each his own.” It’s SO TRUE. Another reason we’ve waited so long to get married is our age difference. He’s 25 years older, so I thought I’d give my family a little extra time to warm up to the idea of me marrying an older guy!
Brittany | September 25th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
We dated for a year before getting engaged. I was only 19 when we started dating though. I think if I had been older, we might not have waited quite so long.
Hannah | September 25th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I was in another relationship when I met my husband. During the time I was with the other guy my husband became my best friend. Once I was free I started dating him the next day. Three months later we were engaged and less than a year later we were married. That was 12 years ago. Sometimes it’s just right.
Marilyn (ALotofLoves) | September 25th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
We dated for 9 months, then got married 2 months later. But within the first couple dates we were talking marriage, at 3 months we decided to move in together and then moved in at 4 months, and at 5 months we booked a month-long trip four months in advance (the trip he proposed on). When you know it, you know it.
6 years together, 5 of those married, you could say we knew it.
chicklet | September 26th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
A little shy of two years, but it was talked about VERY CASUALLY at about a year in.
slynnro | September 27th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Four years dating, a year engagement to follow!
camels + chocolate | September 28th, 2009 at 4:19 am
I don’t have a personal story, but I’ll share one of the strongest couples I know; met to married inside of three months. They’re at 40 years next anniversary.
Then there’s the friends who were together for 7 years before being engaged, engaged for 2 years; divorce was final less than 2 years after the wedding.
I do wonder if it takes that long to decide to tie the knot if maybe the universe is trying to tell you something….
Mich | September 28th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Although I think a month is a little short to go from meeting to married, I have other friends as well who did it in about six months to a year - and they’re HAPPY and THRIVING in their marriage(s).
Mrs. Wilson | September 28th, 2009 at 8:28 pm