Archive for October, 2009

Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Would you marry your spouse again?

Categories: Uncategorized, commitment, marriage

12 Comments

MSN.com posted an article that was originally in Oprah’s “O” magazine, written by Rita Wilson (wife of one Tom Hanks, in case you were not aware). In the article she talks about a time when they were riding in the car the her parents and the question, “Would you marry the same person again?” came up. One of her parents threw out a “Not me!”

It’s a good article that got me thinking. We’re coming up on our ten year anniversary and the question “If you knew at 25 what you know today about your spouse, would you still marry the same person?” made me think I should address it.


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Does more housework equal more sex?

Categories: marriage, sex

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Anyone who is a regular reader of my personal site or is a Twitter friend knows that my husband is far better at housework than I am. I am not a slob by any right; he is just a guy who hates a dirty floor or any sort of clutter. In our nine years of marriage I have probably washed the floor, oh, five times. That’s not a typo. He is rather particular about the state of our floors (he gets it from his Mom) and will attack them before I even think they need to be dealt with.

The Wall Street Journal had an article this past week titled, “Housework Pays Off Between The Sheets.”
The gist of the article is, “The more housework you do, the more often you are likely to have sex with your spouse.”

I don’t know that I entirely agree. Or agree at all.


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Do you lie to your spouse?

Categories: dating

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The Washington Street Journal had an article this week titled, “Why We Lie To Our Spouses.” The article gives examples of lies that women tell their husbands (dress sizes, the cost of new clothing purchases, how much T.V. they watch, etc.) and examples of the kind of lies the husbands tell (how fast they drive, if they find female friends attractive, etc.)

As a good church-attending woman I should be able to sit here and tell you that I don’t lie to my husband (or my kids for that matter). To state that I never lie to my husband would be, well, a lie.


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Are you a Ms. or a Mrs.?

Categories: marriage

30 Comments

Lisa Belkin over at the New York Times parenting blog Motherlode published a post this weekend titled, “Miss, Mrs. or Ms.?” In her post, she quotes an article in Time magazine which includes an essay by Nancy Gibbs in which she discusses her name.

Nancy talks about how she uses different names depending on the situation. She usually goes by her maiden name, but will sometimes use her husband’s name. As for the Miss/Mrs./Ms. question, she says, “All these identities are me: Ms. when I’m out slaying dragons, Mrs. when I’m in the company of those I love most, Miss when I want to stay home under the covers and daydream.


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When did you know you were in love?

Categories: love, marriage

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I read an article over at Yahoo! Shine titled, “How did you know you loved him/her?” The author talks about the kind of love that she shares with her significant other; the kind of love where they love you for who you are and not for who you were or who you could be.

I stopped to think about when I first knew I loved my husband. I’ve mentioned many times over that the time span between our first date and getting engaged was one month. Yes, you read that right.

I obviously love him far differently now, after nearly ten years of marriage, than I loved him in the beginning. The love we have now still has those moments of butterflies but the bulk of it is that comfort and security that comes from a long history together. We’ve worked hard to get to where we are today and have that cozy kind of love.


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Who sits in the driver’s seat?

Categories: children, marriage, travel

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This past weekend my husband and I packed our three kids into our minivan and embarked on a road trip to the Oregon coast. In the course of four days and three nights we traveled over 1,300 miles throughout Washington and Oregon states. Based on the fact that I am sitting here typing this, you know that we made it home alive.

We wondered how well our kids would do on the trip and were quite surprised (and thankful) at how well the whole thing went. We broke the driving into small chunks of time (two hours on average) and would stop to get out and stretch our legs, have a bathroom break, grab a meal, etc. While in the van we had books, snacks and the almighty DVD player.


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Weird wedding gifts

Categories: marriage, wedding

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I came across an article over at MSN.com that I thought would be a fun one to share on a Friday: “Weirdest Wedding Gifts Ever.”

Most of the items listed are pretty funny, in my humble opinion.

“Fake vomit.” Really?

“24 double rolls of toilet paper.” Um, thanks?

“A bronze bust of myself.” Ha!

“Autographed picture of Bret Michaels.” AWESOME.

We (sadly) didn’t get any weird wedding gifts, just a few that weren’t quite us and were exchanged.

How about you? Did you get any weird wedding gifts?

When was your first kiss?

Categories: dating, love, marriage

7 Comments

A college friend of mine called over the weekend and it was great to get caught up on each others’ lives and families. She brought her husband and three kids out here last summer and while six kids under the age of six in one house was, shall we say, chaotic, our families had a great time together.

I hung up the phone and relayed bits and pieces of the conversation to my husband. In the midst of my (compelling, I’m sure) recap I remembered a tidbit about my friend and her husband that had always struck me as interesting. Not interesting in a bad way, but interesting in a “I don’t know how they did it” way.


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Is having a big wedding ceremony worth the cost?

Categories: commitment, marriage

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Nataly forwarded me this article from the Washington Street Journal titled, “For Better or Worse, Fewer Couples Tie the Knot.” The gist of the article is that fewer people are getting married because they either are afraid that they will soon receive a pink slip or they simply cannot afford the whole cermony/reception side of things.

The article states that the average cost of a wedding these days is $16,000. That’s the average. I don’t doubt that it’s true. My husband’s uncle got married in California over fifteen years ago and her family spent $25,000 on the wedding. I’m not even kidding.

When my college roommate got engaged, her parents gave her a choice. She could have a big wedding with all of the trimmings, or she could have a tine wedding limited to family members only and have a huge down payment on a house. She opted for the smaller wedding but called me the week before crying because she wished I could have been there. Had I not been a starving student at the time, I would have booked a ticket and crashed her wedding.


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