Right now I’m a Ms. To me, Miss looks too young and like it would be a heading for a little girl. If marriage is ever in my future, I don’t know what I’ll do. I absolutely LOVE my last name, and all the history behind it, etc. I think I’d prefer to keep my last name, but who knows - I could change my mind.

I check the “Mrs” box.

I read a comic once - I can’t remember what it’s called - that Family something one - anyway, the one kid is telling her younger brother, “‘Mrs’ means you’re married, ‘Miss’ means that you are not, and ‘Ms’ means that it’s a secret.”

I didn’t take my husband’s last name so I generally go by “Ms.”

I don’t think that by using “Ms” instead of “Mrs” I’m trying to hide the fact that I’m married; I’m quite happy to be married to my husband, I just don’t think that taking his last name and using “Mrs” means that we would be more married, or I would love him more than I do now, or it would make us more of a family.

When I decided to keep my last name, I was surprised to find how contentious the subject is. It seems that everyone feels strongly one way or the other. It seems a bit silly. What’s right for one couple doesn’t have to be right for every couple.

I took Torsten’s name and occasionally I get called “Mrs.” However I continue to use “Ms.” as a matter of personal preference. Actually, it’s a bit more than that. I really embrace the term “Ms.” as the “Mr.” equivalent, an alternative to a title that defines a woman by her marital status. However I do see a lot of people using “Ms.” until they get married and then start using “Mrs.” While I do understand why they do it, I worry that “Ms.” will start taking on the same meaning as “Miss”–i.e., that it will imply singleness instead of nothing at all. I continue to use “Ms.” now that I am married in an attempt to further the reason why the term was created.

I’m also a Ms. I would love it if all women were. I find it degrading that the “world” gets to know/needs to know if a women is married. All men are Mr. no matter whether they are married or not.

Call me a feminist =)

Jenn

O brother. I had no idea anyone actually cared. I’m a Mrs. but who actually cares???

I remember when the whole “Ms.” thing was first being pushed in the mainstream (yeah, I’m that old). At the time, I was probably about 10 and my whole family thought it was pretty ridiculous. Mainly because the only people using it were women who were happily divorced or unmarried with accidental children. But I think the negative connotation wore off after a decade or two.

Fast forward a third of a century, and I really prefer Ms. Because why is it anyone’s business what a woman’s marital status is, unless she chooses to share it? In the professional arena, it makes no difference if a man is married, so why should a woman’s name be an indicator of that? (Especially since some people still make all kinds of assumptions regarding a married woman professional’s priorities?) Why should people change the way they address me when (if) I become married? Why don’t we call unmarried men “master” if it’s such a great idea for women?

In addition, I don’t think I should have to do research to figure out whether a woman is married before I address correspondence to her. And what do you call a married woman who kept her maiden name? Mrs. Maidenname? That sounds weird to me. I address all women as “Ms.” in professional correspondence and most other correspondence, even if I know their marital status.

I am not married, but if I were, I think I would still go by Ms., at least in professional circles. But I can see the charm of “Mrs.” in social circles or wherever you really want people to know that much about your life.

I’m a Mrs.. I’m married, so I can’t imagine why I would feel the need to be Ms..

This is so timely for me. I had a conversation with a neighbor the yesterday and she asked “our” name. I gave my maiden name and I’ve been married for four years. I have such confusion because legally I’m hyphenated, at work I go by my maiden name and personally I take his name solely. It’s not working. I really didn’t want to give up my name. It just seemed odd to me that I had to change my name just because I got married but hyphenating seemed like a good compromise. Now I think I should just stick to one in all situations. I just need to pick.

Ah, great post! I think that the Miss/Ms/Mrs and the changing of the last name upon marriage topics are so interesting. I was a ‘Ms’ before marriage and still go by ‘Ms.” after marriage, I think Jess put it beautifully - I do not understand why a distinction should be made between married/unmarried women while there is no equivalent in male titles. I didn’t change my last name when I got married; I don’t think it makes us any less of a family. It is a totally personal issue and I am not dumping on anyone who made the opposite choice - but for me, my name is a part of my identity and it didn’t feel right for me to change it just because I got married.

I do it the etiquette way: I’m a Ms. if my first name is being used, a Mrs. if it’s not. So I’m Ms. Swistle Thistle (Thistle being my married name), and I’m Mrs. Paul Thistle (which I hate) or Mrs. Thistle (which is fine).

I prefer Ms. I agree with the others that I like how it is marriage-neutral. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been called Mrs. I think if someone called me Mrs. Lastname, I would assume they were talking to my mother-in-law!

I kept my name, I just couldn’t imagine changing it, still can’t. It’s not a fabulous name, or particularly important, but it is mine.

My husband felt the same way.

A shared name doesn’t make a family. We are living proof.

All that said, I check the Mrs. box too. I am married after all.

Ms. professionally, with my married last name
Mrs. privately, with my married last name
Miss on most junk mail.

I skip it all and go with Dr. LOL. Actually, I just don’t care. I took my husband’s last name. Their are only two things I really don’t like - being called ma’am, and mail addressed to Mrs. Rob McNealy.