Archive for November, 2009

Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Thanksgiving is a sexy holiday

Categories: holidays, sex

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Nothing says “sexy” like slaving over a hot stove and spending dinner with crazy Uncle Tom and passive-aggressive Aunt Martha, am I right? I’m joking, people.

I read a column over at Yahoo! Shine titled, “The Sexy Side Effects of Thanksgiving Dinner.” It’s not the interaction with annoying relatives that get people in the mood (Obviously), it’s the food served that can get your libido going.

According to the article, pumpkin pie is an olfactory sexual aphrodisiac, fig/cranberry sauce is made up of vitamins and increase your sex drive, chocolate charges your endorphins and wine, well, decreases your inhibitions. There are a number of other food items that are mentioned as well.

I know that many people probably had their Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, but Christmas is less than a month away. The article has recipes linked to for each item mentioned - all the better to help you bring sexy back to your holiday table.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Don’t settle

Categories: love, marriage

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I have a few good friends that have been wading through the trenches of dating life. They will meet guys who are “not bad” and wonder if they should just take these nice, sweet guys for who they are and not expect anything more.

No, no, NO.

I know what it’s like to be in those dating trenches. I do. I remember watching my friends pair off with their partners and feeling a little left out. I dated a few guys casually because I was advised that I needed to give a guy “three dates” before I was allowed to write him off.


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Who’s on your “list”?

Categories: love, marriage

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People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” was announced this week. Mr. Johnny Depp won the top spot (for the second time), in case you don’t feel like clicking the link.

What on Earth does this have to do with a marriage column? Oh, let me tell you.

I may be dating myself but do you remember that Friends episode where Ross and Rachel have their “lists” of celebrities that they would be allowed to, um, engage with should they ever meet them? Isabella Rosselini walks into the cafe and Ross is flummoxed because he had removed her from his list?


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Secrets to a spectacular marriage

Categories: communication, marriage

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I stumbled across an article over at MSN.com titled, “Four Secrets To Having A Spectacular Marriage.” I agree with the four points mentioned and I have to say that my favorite one is the one titled, “Take 10.”

The premise of that point is that you should take ten minutes out of each day (A mere ten minutes) to talk about anything, except for kids, responsibilities, or chores, etc. Weekly date nights are often recommended by myself and by others but sometimes it is just not feasible to go out that often, especially if you have kids and need to line up babysitters. We end up going out every two to three weeks, to be totally honest.


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Things you should never do without consulting your significant other

Categories: communication, dating, marriage

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I ran across this post over at The Frisky titled, “20 Things You Should Never Do Without Consulting Your Significant Other” and I had to laugh at some of the suggestions. They’re funny because they’re true. Here are a few of my favorites:

Seeing other people
Investing your joint savings in a combination fried chicken and sushi restaurant
Erasing everything off the DVR
Buying a house or new car, especially if it’s a Hummer
Adopting a puppy/kitten/ferret
Moving to a different city

Ha!

I thought I’d add a few of my own:

Get pregnant
Join the armed forces
Invite your parents to live in your basement suite

Do you have any that you’d like to add?

What do you find endearing about your spouse?

Categories: love, marriage

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It is all too easy to think of items to complain about when it comes to your spouse. The pile of clothes on the floor instead of in the closet, the bathrooms that seem to be waiting for the cleaning fairy to appear, the vacuum that sits lonely in the corner waiting for a chance to dance around the room.

(These are my flaws, for the record. My husband has his own but we’ll save that for another day.)

I thought it might be fun to reflect on the characteristics your spouse has that are endearing. Not “they great things they do” or “how great they treat you” but the personality characteristics that make you grin from the inside out because they’re just so darn cute. You know, like when he’ll sit and have a tea party with our daughter, complete with a tiara on his head.


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Do kids make your marriage better?

Categories: children, marriage

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Having three children myself, I can testify that having them around kicks the busy-ness of life to a whole other level. In addition to activities and commitments that my husband and I have, we have three little beings who need to be shuttled to school, swimming, dance class, etc.

Many articles and studies seem to point towards children being detrimental to your marriage. I can see how it could be the case; having uninterrupted conversations with my husband generally have to wait until the kids are all in bed or we’re out on a Date Night.


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What is your age difference?

Categories: dating, love, marriage

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I don’t have a long dating history from before I met my husband. It’s not that I didn’t date, but I was one of those girls who went for relationships of the long-term variety. For the most part.

I spent over two years dating someone during my senior high years who was three years older than me. “Dating” seems like such a trivial word, considering that I had a promise ring. Do you remember those? Seventeen-year-old me wore it with pride. It now rattles around in the bottom of my jewelry box.

The next serious relationship I had was with a guy who was five years older than me. Five years older than me.  I come from a small town and, well, it seemed that the older guys were always the ones who my friends and I dated. They were so “mature.” I put that in quotes because in hindsight it is nothing but hilarious.


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