with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
I’ve mentioned it before but my husband and I have been known to take separate vacations. One time I wrote about it, I had a commenter question the strength of my marriage and wonder how posting about separate vacations was supposed to strengthen a commitment. I was a little taken aback as anyone who knows my husband and I know that we not only work hard at our marriage, we truly do enjoy spending time together. I read article over at Divine Caroline titled, “Separate Vacations Don’t Have To Mean Divorce” that echo my thoughts on the subject and so I feel safe enough to bring the topic up again.
We would love to take an annual (kid-free) vacation together but having three small kids makes it a little difficult to do so. We don’t have any grandparents nearby to help with that and I love my friends too much to ask them to bear the burden of watching my little monkeys. My younger brother lives with us and is able to watch them overnight so we’ve booked (a hotel, and) him to do so for us in a couple of weeks.
Lack of sufficient child care is not the only reason for our separate excursions. While my husband and I have a lot in common and have way too much fun in each others’ company, we also have separate interests. He likes to go fishing, hunting, snowmobiling…basically any activity that involves being outside and in the middle of nowhere. Luckily for him, he has friends who share these interests and who join him on his adventures.
My idea of a fun weekend includes seeing new places, meeting up with friends who share my love of writing/blogging (and laughing) and possibly a nice hotel. I also love to visit big cities - I have no desire to live in the city again but I sure do love to soak in the vibe for a few days. My husband, not so much. So, he sends me off on adventures while he stays home with the kids, and vice versa. Then when we get back together we (make out like mad, and) go through photos, tell stories and get back to our life together.
I find that we are better spouses, better parents, better people when we get the chance to have some “me” time. Being married is about becoming one, yes, but there are two parts that make up that union. We don’t need to lose our individuality in order to be married to each other. We agree on this and support each other in adventures…and then welcome the other on home with mad love upon their return.
What do you think? Are separate vacations good for a marriage?
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