Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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(I usually try to use the term “spouse” in my titles to make any male readers I have feel included but based on the comments, I’m pretty sure that men do not read this column.)
(If there are dudes who read, feel free to set me straight.)
My husband likes to shop. He is no way a metrosexual (Not that anything is wrong with that) but he hates when his clothes are worn and/or outdated and likes to remedy the situation.
He also loves to help me shop. A (large) part of it is likely the chance to watch me strip in the change room. Aside from the free show, he also has valuable input. He has no problem telling me if something is just not working and he also has no problem telling me if (he thinks) I look HOT. He’s pretty much the most perfect shopping partner ever.
As if his shopping prowess with me was not enough, he has extended his awesomeness to our three children. With me back in full-time employment and him working part-time around school hours, he’s been the One In The Know when it comes to the kids’ clothing needs.
In addition to “The Basics”, he set out this past week in search of an Easter dress for our dear daughter. He emailed me a photo of said dress (I silently squeed), then proceeded to buy it, as well as some other necessities (Her shirts were all starting to look like tube tops).
I know that my husband is a rarity in our circle of married friends, but maybe it’s just because we live in a small town where many couples fall into more “traditional” roles.
How does it work in your relationship? Does your husband like to shop? Or is it something akin to being lashed with a wet noodle?
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The day Steve buys an Easter dress for our girls, I will strip naked and do a pole dance then post the footage on my blog.
I wish Steve was a shopper, but there is NO HOPE on that front.
Amanda Brown | March 9th, 2010 at 11:05 am
There is nothing he hates more than to shop (whether it be for clothes or food.)
hillary | March 9th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Changeroom stripteases? Maybe I SHOULD take Matthew shopping more often.
But no. Generally, he is not.
Danica | March 9th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
My ex loved/loves to shop. He buys my daughter all the “pretty clothes” and I get the utilitarian daily basics.
This works for me because I actually HATE to shop. When clothes get holes, I go buy new ones, otherwise, nah.
Mich | March 9th, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Neither of us like to shop for clothes. He is good at picking out clothes for me, though, so I drag him along once or twice a year when I need to replace some work stuff, then take him out to steak to make up for it. I always get compliments on the shirts he picks for me, so I’m going to continue to make him shop with/for me.
PS, Amanda, you’re hilarious!
Teri | March 9th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
He loves it most of the time, especially if we are at a thrift store or something. I think he loves the hunt and the victory of scoring something for a great price. But just to shop and not to buy….he isn’t down for that. Shopping has to have a purpose and you need a list in order for him to enjoy it.
Domestic Extraordinaire | March 10th, 2010 at 9:19 am
Lucky you! My husband hates it when I tell him I want to go shopping for clothes because it means he will go with me. I have told him he doesn’t need to go with me if he prefers to stay home but he refuses to let me go alone. But I really don’t like that, since he is very serious and seems mad. He isn’t, but his face looks as if he was very mad.
So I try to be myself (you know, most of us women love to go shopping, and so we are happy and joking) and I ask him his opinion on this and that, so he can enjoy (or at least, share or feel my happiness). That way I don’t get worried about him getting bored. This usually works - I have made him get involved so much into my outfit selection that last time he suggested a dress that I wouldn’t choose by myself, and when I tried it, wow, I really liked it and I bought it.
But it would be definitely easier and funnier if he liked to shop as much as I do.
Thelma | March 10th, 2010 at 11:58 am
Corey too loves to shop. He enjoys the meandering around the mall and the watching of the clothes removal and I think secretly his favourite part is the ice cream/chocolate he receives as a reward for being good at the end of the trip.
He doesn’t love shopping for himself though. You knew Corey before I met him and I’m sure you were privey to his flame shirts, skull caps and jeans that looked like skinny jeans, but weren’t. Fashions not exactly his strong point, hence the complete wardrobe change when we got married. As long as I dress him, he looks fabulous. And I’m ok with that because he will come shopping, he will tell me when I look hot and when something is a definate not, and if told that I’ll take him to La Senza when we are finished he will try a few things on for himself.
Count yourself lucky that Matthew is good with the kids and their clothes, my dearest only ever dresses them in the two things in their closets that don’t match, resulting in prison type attire.
Good thing I love him
Ashley | March 10th, 2010 at 12:14 pm