Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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With our ten-year anniversary coming up next month, my husband and I have been reminiscing about our life when we were newlyweds. We lived in a basement suite in the bustling metropolis of Vancouver (OK, fine. North Burnaby) and would spend our evenings and weekends getting to know each other as husband and wife. We would cook dinner together, go for long walks and, well, you know.
I remember being that bright-eyed bride, dreaming about our future. It would involve a house full of children (I dreamed of four, he dreamed of two and we ended up with three beautiful beings…which we now know to be perfect for us), a large property on which our children could run and on which we (he) could hone our (his) gardening skills, in the small town that he grew up in. All of those dreams have been fulfilled.
I also remember wondering what our tenth anniversary celebration would entail. I dreamed of returning to the resort that we honeymooned at in Mexico and of renewing our vows while standing at the edge of the ocean. Romantic visions aside, I just really wanted to wear my dress again. (I still do - it’s classic and beautiful and I’m the same size (if not a wee bit smaller) as I was when we got married).
As I mentioned last week, we’re headed to Vegas for our anniversary. It’s pretty much the antithesis of a Caribbean getaway and there will be no donning of the white dress while overlooking the ocean. I joked to my husband that we should go to a wedding chapel just for the cheese factor but it likely won’t happen. Or maybe we’ll surprise you all…
The whole “renewing your vows” doesn’t seem as important to me as it did ten years ago. Maybe that will eventually change, maybe it won’t.
How about you? Would you renew your vows?
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I totally think you guys should find a cheesy Vegas chapel and renew your vows. I’d be jealous.
K | April 20th, 2010 at 9:29 am
Yes! But only because I hated every part of my wedding. My MIL made everything awful. I would renew them just with my husband in someplace warm and tropical - just the way we should have done it the first time!
Tia | April 20th, 2010 at 10:49 am
Not for the 10th, but we did for the 25th. Just a small ceremony with immediate family in the church where we were married.
If we make it another 15 years, we might do it again for the 50th. {*grin*}
Dan | April 20th, 2010 at 11:17 am
I don’t get it, personally. Why isn’t it enough to just celebrate the anniversary? The only time I could see it making sense is if, in the interim, the marriage got so “on the rocks” that it was in danger of ending, and no longer is.
SKL | April 20th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I think we’ll renew ours on our 25th (in six years!) and I would like to do the whole cheesy-Vegas, Elvis and Prescilla at the chapel thing. The great thing about that is our kids will be old enough to accompany us and enjoy the fun too. They’ll be 24, 19 & 17 by then.
Procrastamom | April 20th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
I see the renewal of vows as nice for older couples. A reaffirmation that 50 years later you’d do it all over again. I don’t know that I would at 10 or 25. But then again, not married so maybe that colors my view.
Then again, I don’t have any friends lining up to renew vows on their 10 years either.
Mich | April 20th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
I’m so glad you posted this! We celebrated our 10th anniversary last May, and like you, I always imagined that we would renew our vows. However, I struggle with HOW to do it without it being, well, cheesy! I know that seems shallow, and that renewing vows is a really wonderful thing, but every time I thought about it, I thought “that’s so cheesy”. So we didn’t do it. And I’m not sure if we ever will. I would LIKE to because I like the concept of reaffirming our commitment. But it’s not as important to me now as it used to be back when it was a dream. Maybe because I thought that after 10 years of marriage we would be SO different and SO much older and SO much wiser. But really, apart from our 2 kids, life hasn’t changed that much. We still live in the same house, we’re still as much in love as ever, and we still feel young!! We are, I guess. We’re only 32 and 36. So it kind of seems funny to renew vows at an age where many people are only just STARTING the marriage journey. So yeah, maybe at 25 years we will do it. Or maybe it will still seem cheesy then? I don’t know!
Hannah | April 20th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
I so think that you should renew your vows when you’re in Vegas! How funny a story would that be?!
And, yes, I could see renewing our vows in tens years…on a boat somewhere. Our reception was on a boat on Georgian Bay…my parents took us on the Segwun for #5…we’ve thinking Alaskan Cruise for #10…keep with the boat theme….and get renewed at sea.
Amanda | April 20th, 2010 at 8:47 pm
I would like to for our 20th. So, in 8 years. I think it’ll be a way to take stock and think about us and what we want for the next 20 years.
Michele | April 21st, 2010 at 11:08 am
yes, if I ever get a chance I would jump at it.
monstergirlee | April 21st, 2010 at 12:39 pm
we did exactly that, for our 5th we went to Vegas with a bunch of friends and went to the little white wedding chapel and I had booked Elvis to walk me down the aisle. it was a fabulous weekend with our friends and we thoroughly enjoyed the cheese factor with Elvis. in fact, we plan to show this video to would be suitors of our daughters as our real wedding video, lol. embrace the cheese! (we are on our 13th now!)
gretchen | April 27th, 2010 at 7:26 am