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Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

How often do you say “I love you”?

Categories: communication, love, marriage


My husband and I tend to touch base via the phone a few times throughout the day. I’ll call to see how his day is going, he’ll do the same, I’ll call when I’m heading home, etc. Then there are the days when one (or both) of us is running errands and needs to ask the other something or the other and there will be a flurry of back and forth phone calls.

At the end of each and every phone call, we end it with “I love you”. Now, this may seem silly to have a conversation that goes: “Did you want asparagus tonight? It’s on sale.” “Sounds good.” “OK. Love you!” but seriously? I have this niggling fear that the one time I don’t say it something horrible will happen and I’ll be all, “I didn’t say “I love you” the last time we talked! OH NO!”

Ridiculous, yes, but have you met me? Then this all makes sense.

We also spatter the saying throughout the day for no apparent reason and always end the day with a kiss and an “I love you”. Some people may think that it dilutes the meaning, but I beg to differ. I do love him (and he, me). Is it really so bad to say it whenever we think it?

How about you? How often do you say, “I love you?”

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6 comments so far...

  • We’re pretty much like that too. I think it started with my mom and how she ends her calls to me that way. So now it’s habit for me and Thom to end our phone calls that way. And then I know for a fact we say it at least once a day just because. So really I think it ends up being about 5 times a day before it’s all said and done.

    I remember something my Papa said once to my Nanny. “I told you I loved you the day we got married. And if that changes I’ll let you know.”

    He wasn’t one to say it, but he sure was one to show it.

    Carrisa  |  May 4th, 2010 at 10:37 am

  • We’re the same.

    Danica Grunert  |  May 4th, 2010 at 11:07 am

  • We say it all the time, to each other and to the kids. In person, on the phone, and email.

    monstergirlee  |  May 4th, 2010 at 11:30 am

  • We say I Love You all the time.

    One thing we do too that we have always done, if we are on the phone with each other and we say bye we say “Mwaa” like a kissing sound. It is so automatic, we do it at the end of 99 percent of our calls to each other. I’ve had a lot of people laugh when they hear me do it or say “aw how cute” we don’t even notice that we do it because we have always done it. We’ve been together for 12 years.

    Eric's Mommy  |  May 4th, 2010 at 11:41 am

  • We fall somewhere in the middle. We don’t say it all the time but we do say it often. At least once a day, I think.

    hillary  |  May 4th, 2010 at 3:48 pm

  • I SO DO THAT TO, when we talk on the phone….for the same reason! Same goes with kissing when going anywhere. Yep, it seems so silly to me too, but what if. What’s even funnier is that I don’t like playing the what if game…I ban it in my classroom actually. But in my life and in my mind…another story.
    As for before we go to sleep…he’s usually long gone in the two minutes it takes me in the washroom. Apparently I’m not paranoid when going to sleep…no wait, I’m the one who woke up in the middle of the night and thought he wasn’t breathing…got out of bed and right into his face to check…only to have him ask me what I was doing causing me to scream rather loud.
    I need help…but I do love him! :)

    Amanda  |  May 4th, 2010 at 8:41 pm