Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
|
Back when I was a single lass in the metropolis of Vancouver, two of my closest friends were a couple with whom I had gone to college with. They dated for a few years and it got to the point where it was commonplace for our larger group of friends to harass tease the boyfriend and ask him when he was going to propose already. His girlfriend fully supported said harassing.
And then, one day when we all least expected it, they announced that they were, in fact, engaged. I was so excited for them that I screamed. Loudly. We’d all been waiting for it to happen and it finally did.
My girlfriend told me the story of their engagement - how they had picked out the ring together and then he had gone on his own to purchase it. He wanted to surprise her with the actual proposal but when they would talk on the phone he would tease her my tapping the ring against the receiver so she could hear the clanging sound.
I smiled and laughed outwardly and thought to myself, “SERIOUSLY? How is it romantic to actually pick out your ring? And know the proposal is coming. Pshaw! My story will be totally different.”
Famous last words, folks.
Matthew and I talked about getting married (A mere few weeks after we started dating) and I drove up to join him and his family the day after Christmas (To the same small town that we now live in). We told his parents of our plans to wed and they, having gotten engaged six weeks after they started dating, gave us two thumbs up. His Dad also pointed out that if we wanted to get married in May as we had decided, we had better hurry up and get officially engaged already - there was a lot of planning to do.
So, we headed off to the next big city and started ring shopping. I knew that I wanted a solitaire but do you have any idea how many UGLY solitaires there are? Never mind the fact that jewelers would show me settings with clusters. PEOPLE. Solitaire means ONE stone. And then so many of the stones had visible flaws or were meh or just not me.
We went into a small jewelry store in a strip mall and we found THE RING. It looks almost identical to that lovely iStock photo up here, except that it’s a gold band. He purchased it, put it in his jacket pocket, and we returned to his parents’ house.
I knew that a proposal was imminent but did not know exactly when it would happen. We went out for a nice dinner at the local ski hill with his parents that included a ride in a horse-drawn carriage (That ended up being in the parking lot instead of a trail, on a wagon with wheels, because there was NO SNOW). We dropped his parents off their house and then went for a drive. We had “car trouble” down by the lake and while we “waited for his Dad to come and rescue us” we walked out on the dock.
We kissed, he hugged me and I THOUGHT HIS HEART WAS GOING TO LEAP OUT OF HIS CHEST. He got down on one knee and asked me if I would be his wife.
Even thought we had picked out the ring together and even though I had clued in that the moment was happening right then, I don’t think that the moment was any less special than if I had been completely surprised. Bonus points: I LOVE my ring.
How about you? Did you pick out your engagement ring?
Subscribe to blog via RSS
We went and looked at rings more than a year before we got engaged, and there was one I fell in love with that I wouldn’t even try on because it was too expensive.
Needless to say, that very expensive ring was the one placed on my finger Christmas morning and I was completely shocked!
Kerri | May 11th, 2010 at 9:05 am
I did pick out my ring. I went to this local wholesale diamond supply place and picked out the band and cut I wanted. Then I wrote it down on a piece of paper and gave it to him. There was no discussion of when or if he would buy it. It was more or less me letting him know what I wanted when he was ready. He ended up getting a bigger solitaire than I thought he would and asked me on my birthday that year.
Much later we went back to the same place and I picked out a wedding band to match.
Carrisa | May 11th, 2010 at 9:30 am
I always thought I wanted to be totally surprised too. But really - unless you see a ring on someone’s hand there’s no telling how it will look. I have medium to shortish chubby fingers. Think bear paw
When we went out ‘looking’ at rings I soon found out the ones I ‘liked’ looked AWFUL on my hand 
I wanted something ‘unique’ - and we tried on all the unique rings we could find. The ultimate final decision was up to him. He did pick the one I fell for though
And I absolutely love it!
There’s still one I saw online during original searching that I would LOVE to try on. heehee. Just like I loved my wedding dress but that doesn’t stop be from wanting to try on an twirl around in a couple I’ve seen recently on blogs!
Jilian | May 11th, 2010 at 9:52 am
My ring was my grandmother’s, so we never had to go ring shopping
Stephanie Parnell | May 11th, 2010 at 10:23 am
This is how we got engaged:
We were at someone else’s wedding. It was an absolutely beautiful venue; a perfectly restored heritage building downtown that used to be a church. We looked around and said ‘What a beautiful place to get married.’ And the bride said ‘It’s at least a year long waiting list.’ And we looked at each other and said ‘Wanna book it?’ And we did.
We went ring shopping together, although he ultimately picked it out. I tried it on and thought it was perfect so he bought it. A month or two later he surprised me with a proposal - breakfast in bed with mimosas and everything. Unfortunately I had slept over at his parents house in the guest room so we didn’t have much privacy. About 15 minutes after the proposal, his Mom knocked on the door and said that we’d been alone in there too long - and could she take a photo?
He tried to be romantic. It just wasn’t well thought out.
Danica Grunert | May 11th, 2010 at 11:56 am
We started “courting” in January 2001 when I lived in Winnipeg and he lived in Abbotsford. He came to visit in March and we picked our wedding date. He ring shopped online and we chose a design that he had a local jeweller make. (Said jeweller is now out of business.) I bought my dress in April and then came out to visit in May and we got engaged. Just barely. His plan was to go to Tofino for dinner and romantic walk on the beach but we missed the ferry so it was Qualicum Beach instead. Although I knew the big moment was coming sometime that week, I didn’t really clue in until we were walking on the beach and he started speaking in metaphors.
He opened the match box that had the ring, looked in and said “oh crap!” because it had fallen out into his pocket. Ah, what a moment. Got married December 28, 2001.
rachel joy | May 11th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
No, I didn’t pick out my engagement ring. Rob chose it all by himself, and it is PERFECT! He knew what I wanted because over the previous months we had done plenty of shopping trips to malls and gazed in the windows of jewelery shops where I had pointed out the rings I liked. Mine is a solitaire very similar to the one above.
I am glad Rob chose my ring and REALLY surprised me with the proposal. I had NO idea it was happening until he went down on one knee in the sand.
We did have to get my ring resized (I have TINY fingers … and wrists, actually). But I didn’t mind one bit.
Hannah | May 11th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
We used the diamond from his mother’s wedding ring (it had been her mother’s before her) and had it put into another setting. Husband told me what he pictured for the ring and I found one online that we both liked and then had made.
I never actually got a marriage proposal. I had mentioned that I had never planned on marrying, and that I had turned down a couple proposals, so husband was leery of actually asking me. He had gone on a fishing trip with a friend and was telling me about when he got back. “So I landed this really big bass, then I told Mike that it was about time to make you my wife, then we caught another big bass.”
I was so surprised that I didn’t even respond at the time! We picked out the wedding ring later.
sherri | May 11th, 2010 at 2:17 pm