with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
I wrote the other day that the secret to a happy marriage was…helping out around the house. While I do think that it is a huge part of the equation (Happy wife = happy life), I don’t think that the number one secret to a happy marriage is housework. It would be kind of sad if that were the case, don’t you think?
I think that there is something else that beats out everything else as the biggest key to a happy marriage: Have sex. Lots of it.
Oh, please. We’re married, people. We’re supposed to have sex.
Why am I talking about this today, despite having referenced things like “The sexperiment: Seven days of sex” in the past?
It’s because my husband and I haven’t had sex this week and I’ve noticed a difference in our relationship. The dry spell is not without reason (I’m “unclean”)(TMI, but true)(Pray for him; I get a tad “moody”) and so we haven’t had “sexy time” for a few days. This happens every month (obviously) and every month I notice that things aren’t quite right for the better part of a week. It’s not that we fight, it’s more like we don’t connect as easily when we’re communicating. We’re also not as affectionate as we usually are and just discussing every day things seems to take extra effort.
On the flip side, the rest of the month everything seems to be a smoother ride (Heh). We communicate better, we connect emotionally, we’re affectionate. It is good.
(Side note: When we were trying to get pregnant with each of our three kids and having sex EVERY DAY we were ridiculously affectionate and connected and schmoopy.)
So that’s where I’m at - I fully advocate having as much sex as you can in order to keep your marriage in balance. The newborn years are tough, I know, and at that stage in our life we were lucky to have sex once or twice a week. That’s assuming a small being didn’t wake up needing my boobs more that my husband did.
Now that our youngest is almost four (WHAT THE HECK?) we aim for every day but with our busy lives we end up making it happen about five days a week. Yes, really.
How about you? If you aren’t to shy to share…how often do you have sex?
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