Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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I sat here and banged out a whole post about something that BUGS me and while it is probably a valid discussion, I glanced over at the calendar and realized that I may be a little bit sensitive due to hormonal reasons. Plus, it’s Friday. No need to be all deep and stuff.
While pondering what to write about, my husband decided to rip a big fart. This, of course, sent my kids into a flurry of giggles and they did their best to reciprocate. One succeeded - the other two just had to change their underwear. I kid! Maybe.
Back to the fart topic. When my husband and I started dating/got engaged (it’s all a blur what with the entire month between those two milestones), the topic of passing gas came up. He told me that he had never heard his mom fart.
Wait. WHAT? How was that even possible?
In my family, farting is almost an Olympic sport. Well, maybe not so much a sport, but definitely a bit of a comedy show. I grew up in a family that thought farting was funny, even if you were a girl.
I managed to keep my emissions under wraps until a few months after our wedding. Then there was that one fateful night where we went for a walk after dinner. I felt the rumbles down under and knew that I needed to get to a bathroom STAT. I told him as such and we picked up the pace. And then…AND THEN.
We were three houses away from our basement suite and the loudest fart I had ever, 1) ripped or, 2) heard emerged from my being. It ECHOED DOWN THE STREET. If that wasn’t horrifying enough, with each step that I made towards our home a squeaky fart would explode and then I started laughing and my butt sounded like a machine gun and, well, we had now reached a new point in our relationship.
It’s not as though I will walk up to him and fart in his face or anything (EW). I will do my best to retreat to another room, but sometimes I DO that and he chooses to follow me and…it’s his own fault. There are also the times that they sneak out without warning, but the kids think it’s funny, so we’re all good.
Now that I’ve shared my most embarrassing fart story (we still laugh about it ten years later), I’d love to hear where you stand on the subject. Do you fart in front of your spouse?
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I do now but it took me a while to get there. I think it started on a vacation once and I just let one go. I thought it was hilarious. I think he is mostly ok with it now because he realizes it means I’m perfectly comfortable around him.
K | June 25th, 2010 at 9:30 am
Let’s just say that I very recently discovered a wheat/gluten sensitivity that has been causing years of intestinal distress whose primary symptom is gas. So, yes, I fart in front of my husband, less now than before, thankfully. But I did and have all along, early and often.
Anonymous for this one | June 25th, 2010 at 9:38 am
No no no no no no no.
I think I got it from my mother who would scold my sister and myself when we were younger. Apparently my dad tried once in front of her after they got married and she said if he tried it again, she’d file for divorce.
37 years later, Dad’s still oppressed and doesn’t fart in front of my mother.
My sister and her past significant did. She’s still single.
I was mortified to hear my boyfriend had ever even heard me in the other room. Definitely following mom’s footsteps.
A | June 25th, 2010 at 10:07 am
Lordy, Angella. This one takes the cake.
(We do, but then we totally make fun of each other for it. (”Gross! Get out of here!”) Also, there are some times when it’s NOT funny (e.g., after Simon’s eaten Mongolian BBQ or an entire jar of garlic salsa) and then he has to go sleep on the couch.)
(No one has ever heard my dad fart. We think he might be a robot.)
Leah K | June 25th, 2010 at 10:08 am
Funny story… I always get annoyed with my SO because he farts on me while I’m sleeping and it wakes me up… His butt is like a blowhole… So one night, around maybe 4:30 in the morning, I accidentally farted VERY LOUDLY right on his leg…I even woke myself up with it! I turned my head to look at him and his eyes were slightly open so I yelled, “Gotcha!”
He apparently sleeps with his eyes open, because my yelling woke him up for real, and he said, “What??!” I quickly said NOTHING, nothing, go back to sleep.
Heather | June 25th, 2010 at 10:22 am
So funny. I will tell you that Thom and I went the entire first year of our relationship not farting in front of each other. Then it was like our anniversary hit and BAM, he wasn’t holding it in anymore. And honestly, as gassy as he is, he must have been miserable that first year.
It took me about 3 or 4 months before I would follow suit. But yeah, now we do it. And we call it blowing kisses.
Carrisa | June 25th, 2010 at 10:28 am
If I fart on the toilet in our ensuite early in the morning while all is quiet and he is still in bed, I BLUSH of embarrassment. I know farting is normal and everybody does it. But I still feel embarrassed if my hubby hears me.
Danica Grunert | June 25th, 2010 at 10:41 am
Our family has always been the same as yours. It’s always comedic, and most often clears the room, especially from my two brothers. We don’t call my brother Scott, Scooter the Tooter for nothin! My boyfriend claims that because most girls like to “hold them in” because they are too embarrased to “fluff” in public, that when they do come out, they stink even more. Ha! Needless to say, when I gotta do it, I either A. go to another room, or B. let one out for a bit of a giggle.
Shelly | June 25th, 2010 at 10:43 am
I love this!
My Husband farts, A LOT. He can’t burp. I on the other hand don’t fart much but I burp like crazy. So I don’t fart in front of him because I don’t do it that much, but burping on the other hand, I’m awesome at that.
Eric's Mommy | June 25th, 2010 at 11:01 am
I don’t. I don’t fart into anything but a toilet. A friend of mine, an old, crusty First Sergeant, mockingly calls this my “sense of deck-er-um”. (Yes, it’s intentionally mis-pronounced - he’s not really a hillbilly).
I have bowels and bladder of steel, so…
FTR: I can’t physically burp.
Oh. And my family growing up thought that wind passage was hilarious. My husband and daughter also find this to be the pinnacle of comedic entertainment. Me? I just slink off to the potty when I really have to…go.
Phe | June 25th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Yes. How could I not? What am I, a Stepford Wife?
Granted it can be gross at times and funny at others. Marriage!
samantha jo campen | June 25th, 2010 at 11:34 am
After my husband and I had been dating a few months, I went to a wedding in another state with him. To cut costs, we shared a room with a few friends. Until this point, although I’m naturally pretty gassy, I’d held it in. Of course, it was the night with a bunch of people in the room that I just couldn’t hold it in another minute (must’ve been the canapes and champagne).
Anyway, we were under the covers, and I tooted. I was mortified, but figured I could either stay embarrassed or turn it into a joke, so I said, “Hey Jared, there’s a $10 bill under the blanket.”
He fell for it, dove under the covers, and we all laughed until our sides hurt. Now, our way of giving warning as to how bad our gas is, is to give it a dollar amount. I mean, if there’s a Franklin under the covers, you’d better RUN.
Kristen | June 25th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Steve thinks farts are pretty much the funniest thing ever, so there’s a lot of hot rippers being blasted into the air in our house. The girls think it’s a riot, and so I just join in and let ‘em fly when the urge hit.
We are GROSS.
Amanda Brown | June 25th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
I think I just died with laughter! Farts are hilarious!
Dayna | June 25th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Yeah, we fart in front of each other. Heck, I’m more comfortable around him than most other people, so it’s not a big deal! Everybody does it. Even the ones who you’ve never heard …
Hannah | June 25th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
And of course I’m a 7 yr old and giggled about your first fart story too.
Ah so yeah, I fart in front of Danny, but I try to be discreet about them most of the time. But sometimes you can’t help it.
However I do not have a first fart story, yours is awesome.
monstergirlee | June 28th, 2010 at 11:54 am
Very funny! Had to stop reading several times LOL.
I never fart anywhere but in a toilet (Well, obviously during the night sometimes I guess).
My husband doesn`t like to fart in public either but we are ok with the topic, we joke about it but so far we are still discreet. The thing I find strange is that even though we joke and talk about farting very naturally -and we joke all the time about how he or I fart at night during our sleep-, he seems very unconfortable when he goes to the bathroom- he says he feels embarrased of the noises he might make, so he always prefers to go downstairs or he asks me to turn on the tv or music. I find this funny but he stills wants it that way.
Thel | June 29th, 2010 at 11:26 am
I have a husband and 3 boys that think farting is perfectly fine around the house. I put my foot down and said NOT AT THE TABLE. The rule was: whoever farts at the table does the entire clean up after supper. So, what did they do? They formed a Fart Union. If one guy farts, they all pitch in to clean up. Ya just can’t win.
anonymous this once | June 29th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
Laughed till mascara bled down my cheeks! Thanks for the funny story. In our home too, passing gas turns the most mundane chore into comedy hour. We all laugh hysterically when one of us decides to blow off some steam (my husband & I have 2 girls) and try to blame it on 1 of our 3 pets. The funniest moment was when my youngest daughter was trying to do sit ups with me one day. She was on her back, & tried & tried to make her abdomen crunch into that ab sculpting position -not 1 try, not 2 tries, but on the third try, she let out an explosion, & miraculously was able to do the full sit up right in succession! We laughed so hard we probably got more exercise from the laughter than what could be found on any Jane Fonda tape!!
anon | October 30th, 2010 at 6:58 pm