Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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This past weekend I drove the kids to their Grandma’s house for the second annual Week Of Attending VBS And Being Eight Hours Away From Mommy And Daddy. The kids traveled…really well, actually (I KNOW - not blog fodder AT ALL) and the night I spent there was pretty uneventful apart from the early-morning freak-out by my daughter because her brother was TOUCHING HER PILLOW.
Last year when the kids were gone my husband and I felt like we were swimming in circles. We’ve gone away without them a few times and being in a different locale with new things to do and see make it so that we miss them, but that we aren’t lost and floundering.
I’ve had a pretty rough start again this year, I have to admit. I burst into tears as I drove away from my Step Mom’s house and it took me a good twenty minutes to pull myself together. When I called to say goodnight to the kids the younger two started to lose it and I did too and then my husband took the phone away from me. I called yesterday morning and asked my Step Mom if I should come and get the kids. Her response: “The kids are FINE all day long. Give them a chance to adjust to bedtime. See you Friday.”
So. My husband and I have made plans for each evening that we have to work during the day and have some pretty cool adventures planned for the Thursday and Friday that we have off before she brings them home. Better to be busy elsewhere than to be sitting here deafened by the silence.
How about you guys? What do you (or would you) do if you were at home without the kids?
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When I was at Briercrest, I let my mom take Kaylie for a WHOLE MONTH. She took her home from my brother’s Victoria wedding in November, and I picked her up when I went home for Christmas. Noah tells me that I wasn’t a very nice person during that month.
I don’t think I’d do too well now either.
If they were gone, the craziest thing I’d do is probably stay up really late because I don’t have to get up with them in the morning. I know how to party.
Jen | July 6th, 2010 at 10:06 am
I’m at home with the kids without my husband for two weeks.
I love the little monkeys, but I can’t even send them to school for a few hours of grocery shopping bliss since it’s summer holidays. I had to take them to work with me yesterday (at the church) which usually isn’t a problem, but they chose that time to pick and scream at each other for a steady two hours. You know, for reasons similar to pillow touching. To make it worse, the entire ministry team was there (often it’s just the administrator) to witness their wretched behavior and my angry threats.
Today is only day two of our adventures without Matthew. Will I survive to blog about it? Only time will tell.
Danica Grunert | July 6th, 2010 at 2:19 pm
At home without kid… would be boring.. and her stuff around the house will remind me too much of her to actually enjoy it.. I think I would enjoy being away from home while she is gone say to her grand parents.
On second thoughts.. hmm.. the late mornings and relaxed evenings might help.. I might make it to the Pilates class afterall!
Garima | July 6th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Last year my daughter went to “Grandma & Grandpa Camp” with her 2 older cousins during her week-long daycare shut down. I. LOVED. IT. Every second.
Don’t get me wrong… I missed her, and I think maybe I shed a tear when we drove away without her. But Mark and I had planned things for every night. We got to go to movies, and had dinners out and linger over drinks or dessert. And sleep in an extra half hour since we didn’t have a nearly-3 year old to wrangle and get ready for school. We relished the silence at home in the evenings. The quiet was weird, but we sucked the marrow out of that week.
I’ve been thinking about this all day - why don’t I feel like I’m floundering without her? I’m I missing some “mom gene”? But I think for us, we were together for 8 years before she was born (married for nearly 6 of them) and that week was the first time we could slip back into the “just us” mode for more then a couple of hours. Most of our life together it was just the 2 of us, so it was just nice to revisit those days of less responsibility and focus on just us for DAYS at a time. Plus, I used to spend a week at my grandmother’s house each summer and those are some of my best memories of my childhood and I was happy that she would have similar memories of her time with her grandparents.
kakaty | July 6th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Paul was just at home for a week without me and the kids and he got SO MUCH WORK DONE! He was with us for the weekend, but took off on Sunday. I thought of you and the whole “separate vacations” thing. I took the boys with me to my parents house so Max could go to day camp and I could visit with ma and pa and my sister and her kids. It’s the only way we can get the cousins together for any length of time. My friend, who’s hubby is a co-worker of Paul’s told me she blames me for her husband suggesting she take the kids away for a week so he can get work done around the house. She says I’m super-mom. I disagreed, saying my mom did all the cooking and cleaning, I just had to take care of the boys. I really wasn’t so hard done by. Now I’m just wondering how to swing MY week at home without hubby or kids. There really are a lot of things I’d like to get on top of, but just can’t keep focused on with these kiddos and their dad to care for.
rachel joy | July 13th, 2010 at 1:05 am