Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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Back in the days when I was single and trying to be an Independent Woman I had a friend teach me how to change my oil. I did it! I never did it again because paying someone else to do my dirty work was far more rewarding than my sense of accomplishment. I can, however, change headlights and windshield wipers and hang photos in a ridiculously straight angle. I can also build IKEA furniture like a mofo, but my husband tells me that is assembling, not building.
My husband is one of those “handy” types. He has renovated our entire house, pretty much single-handedly. Not only is he the master of the reno, he has built everything from cupboards to bay windows to kitchen islands to coffee tables. The dining room table hasn’t been done yet, nor our master bed. Yes, we’re sleeping on a mattress on the floor - we’re just trying to hold onto our youth. Or something.
He can also tinker with machinery (cars and ATV’s and snowmobiles, oh my!) and has actually rebuilt engines. Which then worked.
This past weekend we took a day trip to hike up a mountain and suddenly found ourselves with a broken ATV. He pulled out his trusty tools, borrowed nuts from one tire to make the other one work and we limped our way down the mountain. Because I know my husband and know how handy he is, when I saw the tire fall off I did not freak out. I just figured that he could fix it, like he always does. And if not, then I would have a minor fit, as I always do. And he would stay calm, as he always does.
(Can you see why we work so well together?)
(I’d like to throw in for the record that while he held up the ATV I was down on my hands and knees in order to get the tire back on. GO ME.)
How is it in your relationship? Is one of you the “handy” one? Or do you both have equal prowess when it comes to being wielding power tools?
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When you gave me a tour of your house and I noticed that your mattress was on the floor, well, I thought it was on purpose. Uh, less squeaking?
Wow. Matthew seems to be a pretty awesome all-around handyman. Noah would be the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of that. I had to teach HIM how to put in wiper fluid and check the oil and anything that has to be fixed or “assembled” in our house is usually my job.
That said, he’s now working for a construction company. Go figure.
Jen | July 13th, 2010 at 10:14 am
My husband isn’t all that handy. Or perhaps he’s pretending. He doesn’t build things but he does know how to install new light fixtures which is more than I can do. I’m not handy either. I will get in there and paint a room and take on a new task if I think I can handle it.
So basically we are that couple that does the bare minimum of home improvements because we can’t afford to hire professionals. Except when we needed a new sewer line. We had to let the pros do that. But it took six months of working around it before we were able to afford to hire the pros.
Carrisa | July 13th, 2010 at 11:05 am
I used to build things out of wood. My Dad was awesome about teaching me how to use power tools - table saw included. I took wood and metal shop in high school.
But then when we got married, I just sort of let Matthew take over. Even the picture hanging! I’ve gotten to feeling useless in the handy-ness department.
Yesterday I was griping to myself that he hasn’t installed the new trim molding in the foyer that I painted a few months ago. It looks so unfinished and is bothering me. But then I thought, hey, what’s stopping me from doing it myself? So I’ve been psyching myself up to learn how to use a mitre saw and a nail gun. I’ve never used them before. But I can do it.
“Can we do it?
Yes we can.” - Bob the Builder
Danica Grunert | July 13th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
we have our strengths and weaknesses. he’s handy at all the electronics (seriously, I have no understanding of our home theatre system - which is extensive - AT ALL) but I do the painting and minor repairs (while my dad talks me through it, over the phone!)
hillary | July 13th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I’m very handy. I love to fix things. I haven’t met too many men who are more handy than I am.
SKL | July 13th, 2010 at 3:33 pm
I am not much good in this department, but doesn’t matter because my hubby is the ultimate handyman! Like Matthew, he has renovated our entire house (although he did have assistance adding the top storey … that was a bit too much work for one person!). At the moment he is painting the exterior himself. I have helped with some indoor painting, but I’m not allowed to do the final coat - suits me!
Rob has built much of our furniture out of recycled rimu (NZ native timber) including our coffee table, dining room table and bench seat, CD cabinet, bookshelves and more.
If anything breaks around the home or if there are any issues with one of the cars, Rob can pretty much always fix it himself. He HATES to employ professionals to do the job, and not because he’s delusional and thinks he can do things that he can’t, but because he simply doesn’t want to pay $50/hour to somebody else for doing something he can do himself. Fair enough, I say!
Hannah | July 13th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
My husband has the technical know-how because of years of experience in carpentry, tile setting, remodeling. etc.
However the heavy lifting stuff falls to me because he has a spinal fusion due to a broken back from a construction accident.
He’s an excellent superintendent, I’m an excellent laborer, and it works pretty well.
monstergirlee | July 14th, 2010 at 1:05 pm