This week marks the annual BlogHer conference where beings such as I, who like to talk to people inside of the computer, come together in the real world to meet and to mingle and to have fun. This year, the conference is being held in New York City, a place that I have always dreamed of going to and that my husband has no interest in visiting whatsoever. He not only refused to join me, he insisted I go for an entire week to get the most out of my experience.
I ran into an acquaintance that I had not seen in awhile and she said, “I hear you’re going away on your own AGAIN”. Her tone was not one that I would consider positive or encouraging or anything but condescending. I immediately jumped to my own defense and explained that my husband didn’t want to come and how he has fishing/hunting/snowmobiling trips lined up during the fall and winter and it will be his turn to get away from home.
I wonder if maybe people hear about these solo trips and think we spend too much time apart? Neither he or I think that’s the case but maybe people hear more about our individual escapades than they do about our time spent together and envision us leading separate lives aside from the care of our children and our home.
That is so not the case. We go on regular date nights. We’ve been to Mexico and Las Vegas without our kids. These past two summers, our kids have spent a week at Grandma’s and we spent our hours outside of work shopping, eating out, making day trips and climbing a mountain. We love to spend time together, just the two of us, and make an effort to do so regularly.
The thing is, we also have interests that differ from each other. He likes to fish on lakes in the buttpoke of nowhere and hunt animals to eat and climb up snow banks on his snowmobile. I like being outdoors, yes, but fishing bores me, I have no desire to shoot a deer and I hate winter (and being cold). I love to meet up with groups of friends, explore big (and new to me) cities and take hundreds of photos. The thought of doing that only increases his urge to get lost in the wilderness.
So, we send each other off to do the things we love and then come back together and share our experiences. It works for us.
How about you? Do you guys spend all of your free time together or do you do a mix of alone time and joint excursions?