I am a firm believer that airing every qualm that you have about your spouse is not conducive to a healthy relationship. Oh, I will talk about his Man Period and other such quirks that he fully admits to and laughs about. But that is the extent of my sharing.
Why? Because I vowed to love, honor and respect him. Tearing him apart publicly or sharing faults of his that he may not want me to share doesn’t honor those vows. It kind of ties into the old mantra, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you”. Lord knows I’d hate for him to air my flaws, though I sure would give him a lot of fodder if he started a blog about the things I do that drive him crazy.
Besides, ten years in I can testify that there isn’t really a lot to complain about. He’s the better housekeeper, baker, handyman, parent, person. He inspires me to be better at those things and more on a daily basis. For me to talk about some small irritation and blow it up for the sake of being “authentic” would actually be the exact opposite. I’d be making him out to be far worse than he is (or could ever be) and that would be a downright lie.
So, I’ll keep sharing the flaws that we both laugh about, in a way that would not hurt him in any way whatsoever. He is not perfect, I am not perfect and our marriage is not perfect, but it’s pretty damn good and I refuse to cause damage to it for the sake of having something to write about.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about it. Do you share everything? Or do you have limits?