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Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

When do you find “quiet time”?

Categories: communication, marriage


At the risk of stating the painfully obvious, my husband and I lead busy lives. I work forty hours per week (plus commuting) and he works thirty hours a week around school hours (drop-off and pick-up and a thousand pieces of paper, oh my!).

We do a pretty good job of communicating throughout the day. I’ll call at lunch to check in and we eat dinner together as a family, though it’s hard to discuss anything other than the necessities what with all of the (poop) jokes and laughter and asking the kids how their day went. We end the day with (you know, and) talking about what we have on our schedules for the following day. While we tend to keep up with the big things (appointments, meetings, etc.) we often don’t have the time (or the energy) to talk about the minutiae of our days.

This past weekend my husband spent some time cleaning out our hot tub, filling it with water and putting the required chemicals in. Last night, after the kids were in bed, we sat in it for a good twenty minutes and just talked. No TV or computers or iPhones to distract us. Just he and I, talking. While we were getting ready for bed we both commented how nice it was to unplug and focus on each other. We definitely need to do that more often.

How about you? Do you make “quiet time” together to just talk? Where do you like to do that?

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3 comments so far...

  • I have to admit to jealousy of the hot tub.

    Other than that, we have our evenings together as well, where we usually unwind in front of the TV and talk about whatever comes to mind when it does. With his work schedule, we havne’t had dinner together a lot lately, but we have a long commute with the four of us in the car where we usually do a run-down of the day.

    Mrs. Wilson  |  October 5th, 2010 at 9:46 am

  • My husband and I have our best conversations in the car. We’re usually driving semi-long distance at least twice a month, whether it’s to a soccer game in another city or to a family event/vacation. Our kids are all teens/tweens now, so they’re typically plugged in to their iPods in the car. It gives us an uninterrupted chance to catch up, debate and talk about our dreams for the future.

    Procrastamom  |  October 5th, 2010 at 11:54 am

  • Water - a perfect excuse to unplug. Genius.

    Jared and I tend to do a lot of our talking on Saturday mornings over coffee. If we go a few weeks without it, you can definitely tell because of the increased tension in the house. We NEED this time to connect.

    Miss Britt  |  October 6th, 2010 at 6:13 am