Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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This past weekend was the Thanksgiving holiday. Before I give anybody heart failure because they think that they somehow lost over a month of their lives, I should clarify that it was Canadian Thanksgiving. It’s more than a month earlier that American Thanksgiving because us Canadians are over-achievers. Or something.
Back in the summer we decided that we would head down to the big city of Vancouver to share turkey with my husband’s side of the family. My side of the family is also in the Big City (a bunch of them, at least) but for some reason the major holidays are not ones that we necessarily celebrate together. The “some reason” may have something to do with multiple marriages and divorces and whatnot, but it’s all good. We still went to visit with my family and my kids basked in Grandpa/Auntie/Uncle love.
While the turkey dinner we had with his side of the family was good and great and the time spent with people was truly wonderful, there were a lot of little factors that made it not as easy as if we had hosted it ourselves (obviously). My husband is a fan of routine, even more than I am, and he likes the same side dishes (a new one or two is fine; but let’s not throw away everything) and his standard desserts and turkey done the way we (I) do it.
We’ll be making Christmas dinner at our house, whether or not the family joins us, is what I’m saying.
How about you? Where do you celebrate the holidays? Do you slit the time, alternate, or just do your own thing?
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We do the “every other holiday” thing and I hate it. For one, I can’t stand my SIL and her husband (she ruined our relationship at Christmas a few years back and now, let’s just say even once a year visit is TOO MUCH. And second, I’m not very close with my family anymore either. Lot of family drama, eh?
Anyway, I hate the family politics that the holidays bring. Why can’t we just spend these (supposed to be) awesome and fun holidays with people we TRULY enjoy the company of, most likely friends we choose to have in our lives? Sigh. For someone who really enjoys the Oct-Jan holiday season, I sure do suffer from extreme anxiety and dread waiting for the inevitable disappointment. Maybe one day my husband will join me and we can have stress free holidays at home, JUST US. Until then, I can always end up scheduled to work a lot during certain peoples visits (being a nurse has it’s perks right?)
JenniferW | October 12th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
We have no routine or pattern whatsoever. My family lives 1500 miles away; his parents live 1800 miles in a different direction. My job doesn’ t allow me to take vacation during the last two weeks of December. So it’s different every year. Last year we celebrated Christmas three weeks early at his parents’ house. The year before that, they came here. The year before that, we went to my family’s Thanksgiving. The year before that, it was just the two of us for the holidays. It depends on timing and money and who wants to travel.
My husband’s sister lives near us, so we usually spend the holiday with her…if she has the day off. Otherwise we celebrate together on some day that isn’t actually the holiday.
Teri | October 12th, 2010 at 9:09 pm
This is one perk of marriage I don’t miss at all. Up until last year, we all piled into my parents’ house, but that has become too hard, especially since one of my brothers’ family has 13 individuals (including behaviorally challenged kids). My parents are getting older and my brothers don’t help out. It’s time for a change.
My youngest sister (a working mom with 11mo baby) has invited bro and his entourage and her inlaws to her house this year. I can’t wait to hear how that goes.
SKL | October 13th, 2010 at 11:40 am
We live close enough to my parents and Shawn’s mom that we can do double dinners for Thanksgiving and Christmas and usually Shawn’s dad comes to BC for Christmas and we do a small dinner at our place with him. This year we’re thinking of flying back to Montreal for Christmas to spend it with Shawn’s dad and his family. We haven’t told our moms yet. We’re both a little scared of the reaction we’re bound to receive
hillary | October 13th, 2010 at 4:38 pm
we change it up, this year we are doing pre-thanksgiving about 10 hours away at my SILs house - i ADORE her so it’s lots of fun and we can chat about the various other family drama. then heading to NC the day before turkey day to be with my sis, my bro, and my mom! This is new and exciting, my sis just bought a house this year and is hosting, so it’s very fun and exciting. This group of family is very low drama and should be lots of fun!!
Christmas is usually close to home with most of my other extended family in the general area, we tend to have a 3 day event. 23rd for my Grandma’s birthday, 24th Christmas Eve dinner (we usually go to my Dad’s for this and skip out on the other side of the family!) then Christmas day!
Actually, i DO love it all and it’s so much fun!!
Lots of festive stories, people breaking into random song, and laughter - not to mention great food!
I must say, yeah, it’s kinda gross how wonderful it all is LOL! i know i am very lucky
kate | October 14th, 2010 at 2:06 pm