with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
It seems that the moment a couple gets married, or even starts dating seriously/moves in together/gets engaged people from all aspects of their lives feel that they have the right to ask the question, “So when are you guys going to have kids?” It seems to be assumed that as soon as you are a part of a couple, the next step will be to make little variations of you to form a “complete” family.
I always knew that I wanted to be a Mom and my husband always knew that he wanted to be a Dad and thankfully, we have been able to become parents to three of the coolest kids that this planet has ever seen. Because we both knew that kids were in our (hopeful) future, I didn’t get to upset with the questions about when kids were going to happen for us. I still found it intrusive at times, yes, but chalked it up to insensitivity on the parts of others.
The thing is, many couples nowadays are choosing not to have kids. An article over at Parent Dish quotes some statistics about how one in five women go through life without having kids, whereas than number was one in ten in the seventies. Some women are choosing career over starting family and some women (from what I’ve seen) just don’t feel that motherhood is for them. Instead of doing what our culture seems to “expect” them to do, they are listening to what they want to do.
I know a few couples who are childless by choice, or who haven’t quite decided whether they want kids yet, and I know that fielding the, “When are you going to have kids?” question got old a long time ago.
Do you want to have kids, or do you feel that your family of two is complete? Or maybe you haven’t decided yet? If you already have kids, did you always know that was the case or was it a decision that came later?
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