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Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Do you share hobbies with your spouse?

Categories: love, marriage


I’ve mentioned numerous times that my husband and I have a lot in common such as our faith and our values, our love of kids and our sense of humor. We also have a lot of differences . I love big cities, he loves being in the middle of nowhere. I like to write and take photos, he’d rather be creative in his workshop. While I definitely need my down time, I also love to get together with a group of friends and he’s more than happy to hang out just the two of us.

Last fall, to tie in with his love of the outdoors and his macho side, he enrolled in a hunting course with five of his closest buddies. All members of our Baptist church, no less. They all took the course, got their gun licenses and have been eagerly awaiting this year’s hunting season.

I don’t have any ethical issues with him hunting as we are a meat eating family and anything that he hunts will be served for meals. I just personally have no desire to (fire a gun, or) shoot any type of animal. I will eat it, yes, but I don’t have any desire to be a part of the blood and guts. He’s been close to giddy about the whole process and while I do not want to join him on his hunting excursions, I fully support him in his endeavors.

(Side note: A few weeks ago he was reading me a conversation from one of the hunting forums that he’s a part of. I said, "I think I now know how you feel when I read my Twitter stream to you.")

(Side note two: After spending twelve hours on both Friday and Saturday out hunting, and not even seeing any deer, he went out yesterday morning and got one within two hours of leaving our house. It is his first! deer! ever! and he’s a little bit excited. Now to find some good venison recipes…)

So, while we don’t necessarily share hobbies, we definitely encourage the other to do what we love. How does it work with you and your spouse? Do you share hobbies, or just tolerate/encourage each other?

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4 comments so far...

  • Well, my awesome boyfriend is not into synchronised skating, as he is a man, and 99% of the participants of the sport are female. He comes to my performances and “tolerates” me dancing around the kitchen, practicing my routine.

    He plays hockey on Sunday nights. I encourage him to do so.

    I’m less tolerant of poker nights. I think it’s a waste of money. It’s occasional, but not regular. I do think it’s important for him to hang out with his buddies.

    He also trains for full and half marathons. I think it’s admirable and awesome and important and wow! However, I don’t like how he pushes himself so far in training that it wrecks his body (for a day) and puts him in an impossible mood. I (sometimes) run as well, but no where near his level, so it’s not an activity that we share, persay.

    We both like to socialize. The problem is, I’m lazy. I don’t like to make the plans. He gets a little irritated by this. I need to make plans more often - I might even like it!

    Heather  |  October 26th, 2010 at 5:31 pm

  • We don’t share any hobbies (unless watching hockey games counts as a hobby?)
    He’s much more social than I am so my hobbies are much more solitary than his. Our separate hobbies have never conflicted, though. I’d say we encourage each other to have separate interests - we would go crazy spending all of our time together as a couple anyway. We need our separate hobbies to keep us sane :)

    hillary  |  October 26th, 2010 at 5:32 pm

  • It was so good when my hubby figured out I wasn’t going to ride dirt bikes! We work out together, and that’s about it. Of course, I don’t have any other hobbies because I’m the MOM. : )

    Also, grilled venison steaks in Dales Marinade are AWESOME. If you are going to do ground venison, mix it with a little ground beef because it’s lean, dry, and kind of blah on its own. I use it in spaghetti & casseroles but not for hamburgers.

    AJB  |  October 27th, 2010 at 2:26 pm

  • I actually had to think about this one. No, my husband and I don’t have any hobbies in common. Like you, I like cities, traveling, hanging out with individuals or groups, seeing movies, reading books (book club!), trying out new sports, etc. He likes composing music (by himself or with 1 friend max), reading nonfiction, watching documentaries, staying home… you get the picture.

    We still spend a good chunk of time together, though! While we do different things during the day, we’re both interested in many of the other’s things, can agree on television shows and food, share basic views about politics and the world in general and have a very similar sense of humor. He’s tuned me into great documentaries and music, and I’ve gotten him into a few novels and foreign films. We can discuss stuff for hours. So in my opinion, it works out beautifully. Oh, plus lately we’ve both found ourselves interested in the same things - brewing our own beer, and hiking in the region. I.e. we might actually end up having hobbies in common. Scary thought!

    Dani  |  October 30th, 2010 at 9:10 am