Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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You’re sitting there reading these words I have typed, so I think that it’s safe to assume that you joy reading blogs, whether they be the ones here at Work It! Mom or elsewhere. I am sitting here typing this post and have been doing so in this space for two years now (and at my personal site for over five years), so it’s pretty obvious that I like blogging.
My husband is not a reader of blogs, unless he’s searching for some hunting/fishing tips and stumbles across them via Google. He only reads my site if I make him (which I do). He didn’t really “get” why I liked it at first and while it’s still a bit of a mystery to him, he supports me in doing what I love.
Yesterday was a bit of a dark day for me, blogging-wise. I had a one-two punch that was in relation to friends that I have met through the blog world. These are not just people that I read and email with - they are people that I have spent time with in real life, that I have laughed with and shared with. These are people that I trust. Well, trusted. Past tense. I was feeling pretty wounded (still am) and when I sat down to share it all with my husband at the end of the day we both had to laugh because I predicted exactly what he would say.
“So why don’t you just quit?”
The thing is, far more positives (and great friends) have come out of this experience and I would feel like something was missing were I to give it up. Hiccups happen in life, whether online or offline, and I know that when I ride it through it will all be fine. It always is.
S, how about you? What does your spouse think about blogging?
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My spouse isn’t a great reader of blogs, but he reads everything I write (and gets on my case if I haven’t posted in a few days!), and he definitely respects it as something I love to do. He’s attended several blogging conferences, hosted bloggers at our home, gone to coffee with bloggers stopping by our city, and even attended two weddings of people we met through blogging. To your point about just being able to quit, you’re right: it’s not that easy. It would be like quitting all friendships just because one friend let you down. The negatives are generally much fewer and far between than the positives.
agirlandaboy | November 2nd, 2010 at 9:43 am
Personally I am a baby blogger (less than 2 weeks into writing @ my own space) and I was a little nervous as to what my husband would think. Like yours, he is an outdoorsy man who NEVER uses a computer. EVER. I could blog without him ever knowing, should I have chosen to.
He was amazingly supportive. He completely understood my need for a creative and emotional outlet. He knows I keep my feelings hidden at times and I express them much better in a written form. He knows I would rather talk to strangers about whats hard in my life, than to the people in my life.
If there’s something I want him to read, I can ask him to, but to him, this is a You Thing. Its FOR me and he respects that.
Annabelle | November 2nd, 2010 at 11:41 am
My hubby doesn’t spend much time on the computer, but when he does (to look at cars for sale, usually!) he will always read my blog, and sometimes leave a comment. He has even met several of my online friends in real life, and knows they are not “imaginary” (which is what he used to call them). He loves to read my blog posts and totally gets why I do this … which is great!
Hannah | November 2nd, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Paul doesn’ t read blogs except mine. He loves that I blog though, mainly because he has a terrible memory and he likes that it makes a record of whats going on. He’d probably be just as happy if I journaled more or scrapbooked but blogging is way easier/efficient.
Robyn | November 2nd, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Thom doesn’t blog and doesn’t read blogs. He only reads mine when I tell him to or if he’s totally bored and can’t think of anything else to do. That being said, he’s very supportive of me and my blogging and my involvement in the blogging community both local and nationwide.
I went through a “break up” this year with one of my very closest blog friends. It’s so hard and I still get pretty emotional about it. I know that my husband doesn’t really understand why it upset me as much as it did, but I appreciate the fact that he was there for me and he never tried to make me feel foolish or silly about it.
Carrisa | November 2nd, 2010 at 5:47 pm
I’ve been blogging for five years too. He spent the first while mosty indifferent. Lately he’s been more interested and reads all my posts. Sometimes I think it’s just to make sure I don’t share too much because I’m so open about certain…things… and I’m not as easily embarrassed as he is. But mostly he’s supportive, and even encouraging and gets on my case if I haven’t blogged for a few days.
Danica Grunert | November 2nd, 2010 at 6:07 pm
PS. I’m sorry to hear about your friend issue. That sucks dude.
Danica Grunert | November 2nd, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Mine doesn’t read blogs, ever. He doesn’t get it at all! I’m sorry to hear about your dark day… I hope you’re feeling better about it soon.
Jennifer | November 2nd, 2010 at 6:19 pm
He teases me for my blog addiction
When we ran into a lady I know ‘from the internet” and I told him that we knew one another ‘through the internet’, he thought it was a little odd, but then again, so did I!
Heather | November 2nd, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Steve will occasionally check in to see what I’ve written, but doesn’t bothr reading any other blogs. He was initially hesitant about my blogging, for fear it would replace my need to share my stories and feelings with him, but I think I’ve proven my capacity for internet moderation to appease those fears. He sees it as a positive but is glad I haven’t made it my whole life and that I am trying to find a healthy balance of computer time vs. real-life time.
Amanda Brown | November 2nd, 2010 at 11:48 pm
My husband is pretty supportive of my blog writting. I am not sure how much he reads it but he is happy to wait for dinner while I take pictures of his plate. He thinks it is funny. If I make a great dinner, he tells me to make sure I share it.
christine | November 4th, 2010 at 8:09 pm