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Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Do you ever meet your spouse for lunch?

Categories: communication, dating, marriage


This past January, I returned to work full-time and in September, my husband’s job went to three-quarter time (to go to full-time in the New Year). Throw in three kids (two in elementary school and one in preschool) and other external commitments and our lives are pretty hectic.

My husband and I aim to go on a date night every two weeks, but all of the things we have going on sometimes make that date night happen every three or four weeks. Better than never, yes, but certainly not often enough for my taste.

Yesterday morning my husband sent me a random “I love you” text and I replied back asking if he’d like to meet me for lunch. I’m in the next town over but it’s only a fifteen minute drive (and his job is flexible about lunch hours), so he came to pick me up at noon. We spent an hour in one of my favorite restaurants, having uninterrupted conversation (and some laughs). It was a day brightener, obviously, and it was a chance to connect in the midst of the busy holiday season. We’ve agreed to meet for lunch more often once the holidays are over.

How does it work in your relationship - do you ever meet for lunch? Or are logistics such that it just wouldn’t work?

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9 comments so far...

  • I commute 45 minutes in one direction and he commutes 45 minutes in the opposite direction - we have never met for lunch.

    hillary  |  December 10th, 2010 at 2:30 pm

  • We just did this yesterday, and it was wonderful! Usually logistics don’t allow - as I work 40 minutes from home, but he had the day off and suggested that he come take me to lunch. It made the whole day better.

    Emily  |  December 10th, 2010 at 2:53 pm

  • He works in an office 7 minutes from home, I work in an office 15 minutes from home. If one of us is running errands at lunch, we often text each other and meet up in the local mall’s food court. Hardly glamourous but nice to be away from the kids for 20 minutes of conversation. We both work in offices though, and usually, we both work straight through our lunch hours or have to go to lunchtime meetings (like bringing in a tray of half sandwiches makes it okay to work through lunch??! - LOL!).

    Angela  |  December 10th, 2010 at 2:55 pm

  • My husband occasionally gets to work from home. And our house is very close to my workplace.. iplying, during summer, we meet up for lunch once in a while.
    Since we cannot manage date nights very often, I look forward to these random lunch dates.. they serve the same purpose- to reconnect and have a kid-less ocnversation!

    Garima  |  December 10th, 2010 at 3:36 pm

  • It’s logistically impossible. Once upon a time though, he used to work in the same building as me- but overnight (while I worked a normal day shift). One time he had to stick around after work for some administrative stuff so we were able to go out to lunch afterward. It was nice for sure. I don’t anticipate that happening again unless our employment situations change.

    K  |  December 10th, 2010 at 3:37 pm

  • My husband and I work less than 15 minutes apart. So yes we do this pretty regularly when our schedules align. We tend to use this time to go to restaurants that we wouldn’t normally take our kid too.

    ACL  |  December 10th, 2010 at 4:47 pm

  • Lunch dates are the best. We do Earls. Some years more often, some years less often. But it’s something we’ve always done.
    Yay. I feel like I finally answered one right.

    Danica  |  December 10th, 2010 at 5:37 pm

  • my husband works half way across the world so it doesn’t work for us sadly :( but one day i hope that we can do this too.

    Melissa  |  December 10th, 2010 at 8:20 pm

  • Since we just starting working (and living!) in the same city, we have tried it once. I have a very short 45 minutes, minus the time the kids and parents want to talk to me and his 1:10 starts 15 minutes after me. So, we did it once, I ordered for him, had to start eating before him and I left before the bill came. Still, the best lunch of my year :)

    Heather  |  December 11th, 2010 at 4:07 am