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Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Helping your relationship survive the holidays

Categories: holidays, marriage

1 comment

Statistics show that a lot of marriages and families break down during the holidays. It only makes sense, really. I know that my life runs at breakneck speed on a “good” day. Throw in holidays that require you to attend school productions (three, plus a church one) and Christmas parties (two work ones, three friend ones) and buying presents for the loved (and not so loved) ones in your life and kids who are no longer in school and need to be entertained and HOW WE SURVIVE IT IS NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE.

What has helped us survive the holidays, even when we’re running on empty:

1. Communicate.

My husband and I have always been ones to touch base throughout the day and I love that if something is stressing me out I can call him and share my frustration and it doesn’t build up. It also helps that if he is the source of frustration I can tell him in a lighthearted way before it festers and I end up making it bigger than it really is.

2. Take the chance at the parties to…party.

We had three school productions in two days and there was a lot of running around and getting kids ready and driving here and there but then? Then we sat and took photos and video and smiled and laughed and enjoyed every hokey minute of it.

At our work (and friend) parties we left the stress of the every day behind and visited with people and played games and got caught up and laughed. It took a lot of effort to get there - there was no point in wasting that time worrying about what else we needed to do.

3. Make time for the two of you.

We’ve crammed a Date Night or two amidst the flurry of Christmas shopping but the dinners were hurried as we had gifts to buy and plans to make. We’ve been trying to make an effort to grab small moments when we can, such as when we…well, I can’t say. Just know that we’ve been trying to grab small moments alone together when we can, even if it’s during the day. Ahem.

Any tips that you guys want to share for helping your relationship survive the holidays?

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One comment so far...

  • My goal is to just not buy into the stress. I’m trying to take the time to enjoy the visual beauty of the season and take in the excitement. I do the Christmas things that I enjoy (tree, cards, gifts) and ignore the ones I don’t (baking). We make compromises to spend time with our families and friends. Basically, I just don’t think it’s that hard.

    However, having kids takes the holidays to a whole new level. I can appreciate that. I might not be so willing to forgoe the baking, I would be anxious about a family photo, there would be more gifts to buy, Santa magic to create, etc.

    Heather  |  December 23rd, 2010 at 11:52 am