I was getting serious with a guy from a very different religion. I had read a lot about his religion including the holy books, and had many other frends, had been to their house of worship, etc., so I though this would be kinda fun. I also felt I ought to build my kids’ wold religion knowledge by starting with the one I was raised in - only because it’s the one I could best explain. My kids would still be exposed to and eventually well-schooled in both. We talked about it and at first, he agreed with my logic. Then he changed his mind (musta talked to his mom) and decided that if we were to marry, I must convert to his religion and obviously raise the kids that way. Since I don’t believe there is any one “right” religion and his incorporates my core beliefs, I decided to entertain the idea. He was very impatient with me for not learning the rites and the language fast enough. He assumed it meant I really didn’t want to understand. This was pretty stressful for me, and it was one of the factors that led to our good-bye.

My mom & dad were raised as Christian Scientist and Jehovah’s Witness. They used to fight about religion early in their marriage. At one point, they agreed to stop discussing it as it was threatening to ruin their marriage. Years later, they both joined the Lutheran church (where I’d started attending KG). They still don’t agree on everything, but they agree on the basics and, as far as I know, they don’t fight about the details.

I’m not married, but I live in a home with 3 other adults, each with very different religious backgrounds. We all tend to agree on the core spiritual values, though. We each practice as we see fit, but will celebrate with each other and attend each other’s services at times. My kids have been exposed to all, but since they need a concrete foundation to start their thinking, I’m raising them in the religion in which I was educated - but with emphasis on the stuff that I consider universal. It works for us. I’m not sure how I’d make it work with a spouse, but I’d at least try.