Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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A guest post over at the NY Times Motherlode blog titled, “The Sex Life Of Parents” caught my eye because, well, I’m a parent who has had sex at least three times, based on the number of my children. In the article, the author talks about the radar that toddlers seem to have - they may be fast asleep, but as soon as you head to your own room for some “alone time”, they wake up and need water/snacks/a cuddle.
I’m here to tell you that it’s true. So, so true. It’s the worst when they are in the baby and toddler stage, though. Now that my kids are school aged, they generally sleep all night unless they are sick or have a bad cold. There is HOPE, is what I’m saying.
The article talks about having a lock on your bedroom door to keep the party poopers out and while a lock isn’t going to stop them from banging on your door and calling for you, it will stop them from seeing something that will make them want to wash out their eyes, ala Modern Family. So, yes, we have a lock on our door and use it on those nights where we don;t want to be “interrupted.”
How about you? Do you have a lock on your bedroom door? And do you use it?
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There is no lock on our door.
We might want to invest in one though.
And that’s all I’ll say.
Mrs. Wilson | February 11th, 2011 at 3:21 pm
We do have a lock on our bedroom door. We live in an apartment, though, so we didn’t really have much say in the matter of installing one or not, LOL! Locking our door cuts down on our intimate time, though, because our room gets about 5 degrees hotter than the rest of the apartment when the door is shut. Oh well, still better than traumatizing our 5-year-old
Emily | February 11th, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Yes we do and yes we do.
There was a winning combination for us when our kids were toddlers. (It’s so bad now that they’re older.)
The combination:
1. Television / movie / maybe even a snack if you think they need it.
2. Lock the door.
3. If they bang on the door simply say ‘we’re having a talk, we’ll be with you in a minute’. Toddlers need to learn that they are not the centre of the universe and sometimes they have to wait for a minute (or even three minutes) while their parents are having an important conversation. It’s good parenting, really, to have a lock on the bedroom door.
Actually, I also found in this situation and others, that little ones do better if they know what’s going on. Not that they KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON. But, if when you are getting ready to go away for a few minutes if you prep them by saying, “hey, I’m going to talk with Daddy for a few minutes. We need privacy. Here is a snack / movie for you,” they are much more likely to stay out of your hair because they’re not wondering where you are, they know. Kind of. Make sense? Worked for me…
Danica | February 11th, 2011 at 3:27 pm
We do have a lock on our bedroom door. These days though, I’m more concerned with my teenagers hearing the lock “click” just after Mom and Dad have stepped into the bedroom and them thinking EWWWWWWW!!!! They definitely prefer to think that their parents only did that thing three times, too.
Procrastamom | February 11th, 2011 at 4:01 pm
Of course we have a lock and we USE it. That’s what it’s for. Although generally, ours are in bed at 8pm, which leaves plenty of time to be … ahem…romantic.
elz | February 11th, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Yes, I generally lock my door when I go to bed (and I’m single). My kids are used to the idea. I’m thinking it makes more sense to lock it consistency versus only on those nights when you have something you want to keep private. Otherwise the kids will wonder what’s going on (I can remember wondering the same when I was a kid - eeew).
SKL | February 11th, 2011 at 5:03 pm
We have a lock on our door, but we’ve never used it. My boys are 6 and 8 and neither of them have ever gotten up in the night and wandered into our room. Anytime they have woken in the night, even as toddlers, they just called out and one of us would go into them. We taught them to stay in bed, stay in their rooms, as I did NOT want kids coming in and out of their rooms at bedtime!! But it’s had the spin-off effect of them never trying to come into our bed at night, either.
I guess as they get older and stay up later, we’ll have to start using the lock!
Hannah | February 11th, 2011 at 6:03 pm