My husband and I are coming up on eleven (!) years of marriage. We’ve had it pretty smooth, as marriage goes. We share the same faith, the same love languages and the same goals. We both love our kids immensely and work hard at being good parents and good people, really. We haven’t endured any great hardship (apart from our house fire)(which is probably considered a hardship) or any great family tragedy.
There haven’t been a ton of external pressures, apart from the every day pressures of work and family and friends and commitments. For some, those pressures take them to the breaking point. I get that. I don’t know if it is my eternal optimism or the fact that we’ve vowed that we’re in this forever, but those pressures tend to bring us closer together rather than tear us apart. For the most part.
The thing is, we are two uniquely created human beings, choosing to live in the same home and share the same bed. We are wired so identically and yet so opposite that we really could go either way.
He is a quiet beast, one who doesn’t speak much and when he’s upset, speaks less. I know that something is wrong when he gets extra quiet and starts buzzing around and doing things in “the zone.” I know it, I get it, but it doesn’t mean that I like it.
I am completely the opposite. I talk when I’m happy, I talk when I’m unhappy, I talk pretty much all of the time. My chattering is just as annoying to him as is quietness is annoying to me, but we’re learning not to take the other person’s temperament personally. It’s just how we were created to be.
I had the distinct privilege of being the photographer at a ceremony honoring a couple that was celebrating their sixty-seventh wedding anniversary. SIXTY SEVEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE. When interviewed about how they made it through sixty-seven years of marriage, they gave full credit to God, and also stated that a big part of their ability to stay married was that they knew what each of their roles were in their marriage. Supporting each other in how they were wired and what they were gifted in went a long way. The rest was attributed to their ability to find humor in most every situation.
The husband reminded me much of my own husband - tall, gentle, soft-spoken and with a sharp wit. The wife is a woman who exuded beauty and grace and made me want even more to exhibit those qualities. When our pastor thanked me for taking the photos I said that it was my pleasure - they were so inspiring that I really hope that my husband and I can be like them when we grow up. He then said, “You will be.”
I sure do hope so.