I first started writing this column over two years ago because the dearly departed (not dead; just quit the Internet) Kristin thought this would be a good fit for me since I “have one of the happiest marriages on the Internet.”
I don’t know if that is entirely true, but I’d have to say that it is mostly true. I don’t bash my husband online (I honestly have no reason to)(and I can’t see how that would help a relationship) and tend to gush about him a lot (I have EVERY reason to). We are really, truly, happy.
I’m not sure how much time you guys spend online, or what spaces you spend while surfing the Internet tubes, but there seems to be a lot of snark against people writing happy things about their marriages. People think that you are whitewashing or not being “authentic” or that you are LYING. And so, those of us that are living in peace and enjoying each others’ company and just generally HAPPY are scared to say so, lest the Internet Gang Of YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG comes out, guns blazing.
Here is my truth:
I have been married for nearly eleven years and we’ve had a tears-flowing, slamming-doors fight…three times? Maybe four? I take full blame for all of them because if you know my husband at all, he’s one of the most gentle, soft-spoken, level-headed men on the planet. I, on the other hand, am outgoing and use my OUTSIDE VOICE and TALK WITH MY HANDS.
(It’s a miracle that I’ve never hit him in the face with those flapping hands.)
We don’t all each other names, ever. Never have. Unless you count Honey as a name, then I guess we do call each other names.
We just don’t have cause to fight, really. I’m not judging those who do, because God knows that if I married someone with a personality like mine there would be a whole lot of conflict. As it is, we talk (a lot) and we laugh (a lot) and we have “special time” (a lot). I know how good I have it and he thinks he knows how good he has it, even though I totally know that I got the better end of the deal.
So, yeah. We’re stupidly happy with each other and that’s just the honest truth. Plain and simple.
I’d love to hear what you guys think about this. Are happy marriages really that rare? Or are people just afraid to say anything outside of the stereotypes?