Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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I’m stating the obvious, right? Marriage is hard work. You commit to living with a person WHO IS NOT YOU and to somehow share every aspect of your lives. There may be children involved, which brings The Crazy up a notch. You eat together, you hang out together, you sleep together.
Or do you?
This article on CNN about “Options for your mediocre marriage” caught my attention. If you are in an unhappy but low-conflict marriage, there are options. Separate bedrooms! A marriage “sabbatical.” The “new monogamy” (which involves other people, so it’s NOT monogamy).
The article made me sad because it’s yet another example of our “do whatever is easy” culture. Yes, marriage is hard work. So is getting an education or running a 10K or raising your kids in the way they should go.
Hard work is worth all of the effort. Dig in, pour yourself into it and you will reap the benefits. I’m not making this up. I promise.
Marriage is hard, but I think that making concessions to your marriage commitment is harder. Giving up intimacy so that you can have your own room? Or inviting someone else to share your bed? HOW ON EARTH does that help you build your relationship? I would feel so alone if it were me.
How about you guys? Do you think that marriage has “options”?
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I agree. Completely. I’ve been there in the pits of marriage suckage and putting in the work to get it better is completely worth it.
Mrs. Wilson | June 7th, 2011 at 3:49 pm
In 7 weeks I will be reading your blog from the other side. What is going to be so hard about marriage? What is the work?
Heather | June 7th, 2011 at 5:42 pm
You’re teasing, right, Heather?
Two different human beings, sharing their lives, can have its struggles. Matthew and I are inherently compatible (we have the same love languages and complimentary personalities, same faith, goals, etc.) so we don’t fight much.
I think that another big danger is when kids come into the picture. It’s easy to put your relationship on the back burner. This is why we have regular date nights.
Angella | June 7th, 2011 at 6:30 pm