Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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A will is one of those things that my husband and I knew we should get but never got around to drawing up until we planned our first kid-free trip…eight years after we we were married. Not the smartest plan, I know, especially because we have kids. And, the law in the province we live in is such that if we were to both die without a will, everything goes to the youngest spouse’s family. My husband is two years younger than I am and while I love his family, I love mine too, and there are three little people we created that need to be taken care of, first and foremost.
It was kind of weird to ask someone to be our executor and another couple to take responsibility of our kids, should something happen to my husband and I, but I feel so much better whenever he, or I, or the two of us travel. Yes, something bad could happen to us close to home, but I fear it more when one or both of us is traveling. (I leave for BlogHer tomorrow, which is why it’s on my mind.)
How about you? Marital status doesn’t really apply to this topic…do you have a will?
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Yes, we do, but we need to update it, as it doesn’t involve Liliana or Preston, just “any other children we may have”. I work(ed) for a lawyer that offered to do up a will for us … I should take him up on that.
Mrs. Wilson | August 2nd, 2011 at 3:23 pm
Yup, we had a will drawn up shortly after our oldest was born. Seems silly not to designate “who” you’d like to be guardian of your child (children, for us now) in the horrible event you both pass away at the same time.
Angela | August 3rd, 2011 at 12:48 pm
I currently do not but whenever I have kids I will definitely look into it. I think my parents waited a long time before they put a will together too.
K | August 4th, 2011 at 1:20 pm
I’m ashamed to say No. We keep talking about doing it, but haven’t actually made the appointment. I know, I know, it needs to be done asap!
Mary | August 4th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
No, but it’s just the two of us for now, so I don’t feel that it’s too urgent. I have no idea who we would choose to take care of our future children anyway, so I don’t even know what I would put in the will.
Teri | August 4th, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Yes,we have a will. It needs some updates on it in regards to the trust aspect for our daughter. However, even if one does not have children there should be a will. My parents had a will put in place after my grandparents were killed in a car crash without one (this was in the 1970’s when a lot of people didn’t have wills) and my Mom’s comment was the will is for the people left behind because they do not need the extra stress of trying to figure out what you wanted done with everything from your children to great grandma’s china or dealing with probate without a will. Also, if you think there could be issues in regards to children and what might happen to them, you should always have a will. We were fortunate that my daughter’s godmother has stated she would be the guardian as our parents are too old on a day to day basis. I was eight when my parents included me in the discussion of what if in regards to something happening to them so if your kids are older include them in the discussion. I should state that by age eight I had spent a lot of time at funerals since both of my parents are from large families and death was a normal part of life. I know that is not true for other families. My husband didn’t go to a funeral until he was in college.
Heather | August 5th, 2011 at 9:46 am
Yes, but only because my m-i-l is a Notary Public and she hounded us for ages to come in and have it done. We kind of suck when it comes to getting around to the important stuff.
What was most awkward, especially addressing it so formally in front of my husband’s mother, is that the couple we have chosen to take care of our kids should we die are not family members on either side. We made that decision back when Adora was first born (almost nine years ago) and we still fell the same way. We are certain that this particular couple would raise them the way we want them raised, love them the way we want them loved, and ensure the kids maintained family relationships on all sides. And we keep checking with them every few years, because their family is growing too, and they are still thrilled. So it’s cool.
Danica | August 6th, 2011 at 1:28 am