Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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My husband and I always knew that we wanted to have kids, even before we were married. We were married on May 20, 2000, and spent the next year working and saving so that we could move away from the Big City and buy a house in a small community in farm country.
I started pestering him about trying for our first baby about six months after we moved and after giving me reasons why we should wait, about six months later he agreed that we should start trying. A miscarriage happened, first, but we gave birth to our first boy at the end of December, 2002.
Our next baby, also a boy, arrived in August 2004. Our third baby, a girl, arrived in October 2006.
It was (and is) busy and hectic and crazy, but it is exactly what we hoped for.
When did you know that it was time to have kids?
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I wrote a series of this on my own blog a while back, but just to sum it up, I always figured I’d have kids, then I realized i didn’t HAVE to.
So then I thought about it long and hard, and knew i didn’t WANT kids.
The Mr. was great through all of that, even marrying me with this knowledge.
Three years into our marriage, i decided to tell him that i would indeed begin considering/discussing. we then aimed to possibly get pregnant in ‘07 (which was 5 years after our marriage; 13 years after being together)
all planned accordingly, we got pregnant in fall of ‘07 and welcomed our baby girl July 2008.
(part 4 of the discussion here: http://idroppedmybonbon.blogspot.com/2008/01/decisions-decisions.html )
mpotter | December 9th, 2011 at 5:31 pm
I feel a lot of pressure! It all comes from myself. It is because I will be 33 very soon (the day before Graham, we can talk about sharing the week with Jesus and I will tell him why it rocks!) and I’m worried that all of my eggs are dying and only the bad ones will be left, if any!
At the same time, I want us to be good and ready. I hear solid relationships are good for kids
Also, I will avoid a December baby at all costs. Our cut-off for school is Dec. 31. I know that some kids are ready but some kids aren’t and I don’t want to make the decision.
In short, it makes me crazy!
Heather | December 9th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
I didn’t really decide. My first was born a mere 26 days after I graduated high school, my second unplanned full-term baby arrived in 2007 and finally, in 2010, we finally decided to have a baby. So, nine years after becoming a parent, I decided it was ready to have kids. Ha! In 2011 our first planned kid was born. Go us!
Mrs. Wilson | December 12th, 2011 at 12:24 pm
In absence of any real reason, when we got married and people asked “When will you have kids?”, I said “In about 5 years”. We were married when I was 26 YO, and we welcomed our first child when I was 31 YO, exactly 2 weeks before our 5th wedding anniversay.
I’ve always been prompt.
I guess you say something long enough, you begin to believe it. It just seemed like a “good enough” time, and we knew there was never going to be “the perfect time. We both had secure employment, we had access to decent maternity benefits, and we lived in a home that we easily afforded, and could accomodate a child.
Angela | December 12th, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Very interesting topic. I don’t know when we’ll decide we’re ready to try for kids but I imagine it will be in the next 2-3 years. We’ll see how it goes. My plan at first will not be trying to have a kid but not trying to prevent having a kid. We’ll see how that plays out before we actually try to get pregnant.
K | December 13th, 2011 at 9:45 am